2:37 pm
January 13, 2011

psychfugue

Utica, NY


Starter








Stardate 011311… the starship Dolphin finds itself lost in space… it flounders within a futuristic purgatory of dark matter and distant galaxies…
(Part I – "Superbowlia or Bust")

Captain ROSS: ..Ireland (Spock)… what the devil is going on… we were supposed to be in Superbowlia…!


IRELAND: ..Captain… I'm at a loss of words… this variable seems out of context and completely unaccounted for..


ROSS: ..what in the hell are you talking about? ..say it man… just come out and say it for God's sake…


IRELAND: ..I can't quite put my finger on it… we seem to be caught up into a vortex of time and space, perhaps a worm-hole..?


ROSS: (sound of intercom and ships whistle)… Tony (Scotty)..! Tony… are you down there for God's sake..? What in the devil is going on..?


TONY: ..aye aye Captain… Tony here… I'm not really sure Sir..? The ship she's floundering for sure… I'm suspecting it's the Henning factor..


ROSS: ..well damn-it all my good man… can we fix it..?


TONY: ..well Sir… I will need some time… she can't be repaired overnight ya' know..


ROSS: ..damn it Tony… we don't have time… we missed Superbowlia it seems and we have lost all communications…


TONY: ..Sir, I can only do my level best to try an' save her… but I'll need some time…


ROSS: ..that's not good enough… we don't have time…


TONY: ..I'm thinking that it's the OC thats given out on us Sir… I'll have to find some way around it… I can't just make a new OC ya' know…


ROSS: ..can't we just buy one? I have the money…


TONY: ..where might ya'be tellin me to get one Sir… my God there isn't a spare OC part just floatin' around in space ya' know…


ROSS: ..we have to find some way around it Tony… I know you can do it… you've done it before..


TONY: ..No Sir… I haven't done it before… I never had a ship until I got this baby… just give me some time, maybe a week will do…


ROSS: ..we don't have a week Tony… you've got 24 hours to find a new OC or work around it..


IRELAND: ..Captain… if I had any feelings… I'd have a good feeling about this… I admire you immensely…


ROSS: ..do you really mean that Ireland or is it the new contract extension I gave you..?


IRELAND: ..I feel unqualified to forward the appropriate response to you my good Sir…


ROSS: ..well, perhaps it is because you are unqualified Ireland… you were never first-officer before… but you're a scout for God's sake…


IRELAND: ..message received Sir… will there be anything else..?


ROSS: ..why yes… I'm thinking we must do something while we wait for Tony to fix the damn ship…


IRELAND: ..why Sir… how about a Madonna..? ..wait… I've got it… we can get a Spears, or a Hilton… I know we can with your money…


ROSS: ..will it help us get to Superbowlia on time..?


IRELAND: ..no Sir… but it can be an effective strategy so none of the crew or citizens take notice of our mission failure…


ROSS: ..damn it Ireland… that is genius.. sheer genius… I knew something was lacking to complete our plans… get right on it..!


IRELAND: ..Yes Sir..!!!! ..right away sir…

(Part II of the "Endless Voyage" continues next week)


This is from a forum friend. I could not stop laughing.