I thought I was a changed person that grew up to deal with relationship problems better but talking to people is still the best way for me to deal with it so here goes: I've been seeing this girl for two months. Things got serious very quickly. We identified a lot of core beliefs in each other early and fell in love very early. We became exclusive pretty quickly and started saying the three words pretty quickly. At first, I would come over and go home at night but just about a week in she told me she didn't want to sleep without me anymore. So I stay over at her house every night, has been that way for a while. Now when we first started out, almost all of our text conversations were, "I miss you" or "I wish you were here" something to that effect. We sometimes talked about real stuff but it was mostly the mooshy, gooshy stuff. She was always posting on her Facebook about how she loved our dates and how great I was, how I did amazing things for me. All the while she told me she wasn't this super affectionate person but I didn't believe her because she was still doing it. About three weeks in, these things slowed down. We were having regular sex but she said she didn't want that to be what our relationship was all about so we needed to cut back and it became like once or twice a week. That was when thing started getting weird. I didn't understand it and would talk about it all the time. It caused a fight usually and she would say she would wish I could understand that she wants more with me. She wants a life, a partner, that kind of stuff. We eventually got passed it and it's not really an issue any more. However, around that same time, her long time medical issues flared up (she has severe kidney issues) and she would be grumpy or just not happy. I still loved her and was there for her but her lack of affection and appreciation for things I did made me concerned. I'd often want to talk about our relationship and why things changed. It became an every other day thing and it kind of continues up to today. It has been a strain on us both because she insists nothing is wrong but things are COMPLETELY different. She never kisses me on her own, she never initiates sex, she never posts on her FB about me, she doesn't send me the "I miss you texts any more." Everything just seems to have turned miserable from her point of view. Now she said one time when talking about this that we got too complacent, didn't ever go out on dates, and got comfortable. And that I stopped sending her the "I miss you" texts (and I did because I always wanted her to send them first because she showed a lack of interest when we were actually together.) So this had been a problem for a while but she continually reassured me that if she didn't want me around, or that if she wasn't interested in me, that I wouldn't be around. I need to relax and just trust in our relationship and that she truly believed we had a good relationship. I mean she would still do little things here and there and it seemed like if I was just my happy, joyous self, but gave her her space, she would eventually come around and cuddle up with me or give me a kiss or whatever. So I told myself to be myself because that's who she fell in love with but just distance myself a little bit to make her miss me more - if you will. So I adopted this strategy and things started looking better. Sunday was fantastic as hung out all day, she was cuddly, and gave me the attention that I crave (I know, I'm a woman, but that's just how I am.) My new strategy seemed to be working and I went into work yesterday very happy. She got grumpy again last night because something "happened" and she was going to tell me about it later. I wound up going to her house around 9:00 and she said she didn't really wanna talk so I just sat by her and was there with her. This is where my curiosity got the best of me. I suspected the worst so I grabbed her phone this morning and noticed some texts to two people. She told two of her friends about what happened last night (turned out to be something completely unrelated) but one was her best girl friend and the other was a dude. Now this dude is someone she has told me is one of her close friends and favorite people in the world. Whatever. She can have friends, I don't care. So I look through the phone and they had barely talked at all since we met and the time they did, it was actually about me and how I treat her well, so I was happy. She had gone to lunch with him last week and told me about it so I trust her, no big deal right? Then I get to the texts from last night and she talked to him about the thing that happened and he screen shotted her text convo and said I still love when you text me. The reason being was that it was a picture of her wonderfully plump *** in a sexy thong. So obviously they've been intimate/physical in the past, whatever, that's not something I can get mad about. But what irritated me was that she just said, "LOL, you're lucky I love you." Shouldn't she have told him that wasn't okay or something? I don't know. The other thing that got me pretty bummed out today was I check out this mother ****er's facebook page and she liked his last like three posts. Meanwhile, I wrote this sweet little thing on her FB Sunday morning and she didn't bother to comment or like it. I mean I know this is petty ****, but seriously, wtf? So between the distancing the last few weeks and now this odd behavior with a former fling, (now I know she's not cheating because she's either at work, with her son or with me) but I just worry that something is brewing there. So between it all, I'm pretty left in the dark. And she texts me every morning but today she didn't say anything until 11 AM and just said something short and irrelevant like usual. She still hasn't told me about what put her in this bad mood last night (I only know because I snooped) and while it wasn't something to do with us, it hurts my feelings that she would find comfort in these friends over me. Damn that was a book and I still feel like I've omitted a lot of detail. And, as usual, whenever I have to write "these" posts, I usually know the answer but I just seek confirmation. I don't know, man. I want her to be different. She's ridiculously sexy, she's AWESOME when she's not in physical pain or exhausted from the day and she WAS doing things that made me really happy. She just isn't making me happy like she was at the start. And talking to her about it is out of the question because that's probably a huge reason we've gotten to this point, because we talk about it too much. I'm thinking I need to give her some space and let her miss me more. Let her realize that the man she fell so hard for is still here and that she's taking it for granted. But then I worry that giving her space would push her towards other homeboy. I don't TRULY believe there's something going on there but my insecurity makes me fear that something could happen.