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Sparano signs "Snuggie" endorsement?

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by Pandarilla, May 1, 2010.

  1. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    And in the WTF?!? department. Apparently our no nonsense coach has signed an endorsement for the snuggie. Endorsers going so far as to say it is a "match made in heaven". Now I've heard of asking for it, but how can you preach to our players not to be soft now (primaddona...Pffft!).

    http://thebottlenose.wordpress.com/2010/05/01/sparano-signs-shrewd-snuggie-sponsorship/

    “Tony’s kind of been wearing Snuggies for years now,” Boilen explained. “He has the type of body that our product hangs perfectly on. If he ever quit coaching he could become the Tyra Banks of Snuggie models. In a second.”

    Boilen has plans to unveil a new variation on the Snuggie, known simply as The Sparano. The garment will closely resemble the traditional Snuggie, but with a built-in beer holder, and an air-tight snack pouch designed specifically for corn nuts.

    I can't even put up all the quoteworthy material in this article without putting the whole article up...Oh yeah, April Fools...Damn, they got me...
     
  2. Trowa

    Trowa A world of pain

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    Sniggie sounds like a racial slur.
     
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  3. Pandarilla

    Pandarilla Purist Emeritus

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    I know, I couldn't edit the title after I realized the mistake (also that its May and that article could be for real). Just try to visualize Jay and silent Bob snigga snooch...
     
  4. Rocky Raccoon

    Rocky Raccoon Greasepaint Ghost Staff Member

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    LMAO at that photoshopped logo taking a shot at all the people who complain our logo isn't "scary enough."
     
  5. Tofu Dan

    Tofu Dan Tofu Dan

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    Thanks for stopping by The Bottlenose, you guys!
     
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  6. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Thank goodness it was a hoax...I thought "Snookie" was being endorsed by Sparano:

    [​IMG]
     
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  7. jetssuck

    jetssuck I hear Mandich's voice...

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    So let me get this straight....

    lol....I don't think so
     
  8. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    hi im tony sparano, and when im busying burying people in the hudson, I like to wear my snuggy.
     
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  9. padre31

    padre31 Premium Member Luxury Box

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    Bro, your faux endorsements needs some work...the hudson is a river, you cannot bury people in a river...

    For example...

    "Hi, you don't know me, and if you say you do I'll deny it, when I'm back home in the northern part of America and have to do some surprise work with a shovel my snuggie keeps me warm on the coldest nights in the pine barrens.."
     
  10. CaribPhin

    CaribPhin Guest

    Can I use that Dolphin as my avatar?
     
  11. m ino

    m ino New Member

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    tony sporano here with another fine product.
    does your robe belt get in the way of your pockets?are you tired of having to take your robe off to poop? then i say faughetabowtet with the all new "wtf"blanket!

    gotta wrap a body quick?faughgetaboutet! our handcrafted german fibers soak up that blood with no mes left behind.tired of getting busted cause of blood in the trunck?well faughgetaboutet with a snuggie today!
     
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  12. Tofu Dan

    Tofu Dan Tofu Dan

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    I beg to differ. I've buried several of my gangland rivals in the Hudson. It wasn't easy. First I had to dam up the river, then dig into the dried up riverbed, deposit the body, and release the water again afterwards.

    It was a pain. I should have stuck with the cement boots, but I really needed this guy to disappear.

    When you mess with the Fasanos, you ain't gonna be around long.
     
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  13. Coral Reefer

    Coral Reefer Premium Member

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    I absolutely cannot believe how much success that product has had.

    It's one of the most ridiculous things ever..... which is why the avg. Joe is snapping it up I guess.
    You have to wonder if this products success came as a result of millions of people buying it as a gag gift.

    Funny gag post though.
     
  14. Silverphin

    Silverphin Well-Known Member

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    Real men don't wear Snuggies.

    They wear Thuggies!

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-siLXR3Tths"]YouTube- Lopez Tonight - The Thuggies - 50 Cent[/ame]
     
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  15. Tofu Dan

    Tofu Dan Tofu Dan

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    FASANO SPARANO GANGLAND WAR THREATENS TO DESTROY DOLPHINS!




    Dolphin tight end Anthony Fasano finishes his tenth rep on the bench press. Coach Tony Sparano passes through, on his way to an early morning playbook session. They share a nod, but 1,250 miles up I-95 the Fasanos and Sparanos are locked in a bitter feud that has flooded the streets of New Brunswick, New Jersey with blood.


    “Here, when Tony says to push a button on a guy, I push a button,” Fasano explains. “But if my Capo says to push a button on a guy too, and it’s someone different than Tony says, even Tony himself, I gotta push that button first. But Tony is talking to me about football buttons, not the same buttons as my bosses. Tony’s got two sets of buttons too, football ones, and ones that come from higher up. Hell, he could push the button on me at any time. So I keep one hand on my button at all times. The normal button. Not the football one. The football buttons are for gameday. Capiche?” a somewhat confused Fasano asks, shoveling a forkful of takeout linguini into his mouth and watching a stripper work a pole he’s had installed inside his locker.


    Over seventeen members of the two families have been killed in a ruthless battle for the central New Jersey city of New Brunswick. The police, thought to be largely on the take, are sitting this one out. With authorities content to watch the bloodshed from a distance, the war will most likely play out to the bitter end.


    “It’s a shame,” Coach Sparano says, finishing up a carving of the Italian flag he’s etched onto his forearm with a razor blade.


    “Anthony’s a good kid. Just on the wrong team. Not the Dolphins, I mean. He’s on the right team in that case. His other team is the wrong team. The team up North. And his team ain’t gonna be around for long. His other team, not this one. Just to clarify, the Miami Dolphins football team will be around a long time. Do I make myself clear?” Sparano asks, stretching a piano wire between his hands while a nervous Mike Nolan draws up plays on the dry erase board. As the team’s new Defensive Coordinator adjusts his tie, one can almost see the faint outline of a microphone beneath it.


    As the turf war raged in Jersey this winter, Sparano and his tight end had brokered an uneasy peace. However, this truce was scrapped when Coach Sparano brought in cousin Richie Incognito from the old neighborhood, supposedly to play right guard.


    “He disrespected me bringing Richie in here,” Fasano growls, fastening a framed picture of Frank Sinatra onto the front bumper of his bulletproof Escalade. “We’re in the same meetings, on the same line. I gotta learn my assignments and at the same time make sure that sick bastard isn’t gonna shoot me in the face?”


    Hopes for peace between Coach Sparano and his starting tight end are fading fast, and team headquarters could erupt at any moment.


    “It’s gonna cost Anthony someday. When he least expects it,” Sparano warns, crossing himself before pumping his fist and sawing the head off a nearby racehorse.


    At the end of the work day both Sparano and Fasano make their way to the parking lot, eyeing one another suspiciously. Executive VP Bill Parcells arrives in his limo to watch tape of last weekend’s rookie camp.


    Both Fasano and Sparano kiss his ring, showing respect to the elder before he heads inside. It’s a nice gesture, but one gets the feeling that today’s cutthroat crime world has passed Don Parcells by.

    Sparano and Fasano both check underneath their cars for bombs. Moments later they start their engines and drive away without incident. But it’s becoming crystal clear. Nothing can stop the impending explosion.
     
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