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Suicidal Thoughts

Discussion in 'Outreach Forum' started by Seeking Answers, May 4, 2009.

  1. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    What does it take to get rid of them? I can be happy for a few days, and these thoughts come back and ruin multiple days at a time. I always told myself I'd never act on them but they won't go away.
     
  2. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

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    I think you should see a trained therapist that can help get to the bottom of why you have these feelings.

    If you already have, have you thought about doing things to keep occupied? Like going to the gym or joining a b-ball league, or doing any activity you enjoy?
     
  3. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    I don't know why you have them or what you're trying to do to combat them. Get help today, make it your #1 priority. Depression is a killer in many ways and you do not need to travel that road alone. There are professionals out there that can assist you and hopefully help you sort out whatever issues you have and help you to become happy again.
     
  4. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

  5. gunn34

    gunn34 I miss Don & Dan

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    Please get help right away. I want you to see the Phins win the SuperBowl with the rest of us.
     
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  6. like2god

    like2god Typical white person Luxury Box

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    I think the first thing that you should do is look for something positive in your life that makes you happy, whether it's a family member, a pet, a friend, etc and use them for motivation to seek out help. If you don't want to seek help for yourself, do it for them.

    There is nothing wrong with admitting that you need someone to talk to, we all need someone there to listen at some point in our lives. There is nothing wrong or shameful in talking with a professional about your problems. I know that is a stigma that goes along with therapy, but it's a faulty one because we aren't perfect, people have problems and not everyone can work them out on their own. Once you are able to talk your problems out with someone who will listen openly without interruption, without cynicism, and without judging you, you may find that an impartial person is able show you something that you've missed along the way.

    Everyone gets depressed, hell I went through it before and it isn't a fun thing. But thinking in the extreme (suicide) is running away from your problems and there are no do overs. Times may be tough and confusing, but nothing is bad enough that would warrant hurting yourself and your loved ones. :up:

    My pm is always open and I know alot of people here would be more than happy to listen and help. :wink2:
     
  7. cnc66

    cnc66 wiley veteran, bad spelur Luxury Box

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    Bro.. Sis,
    My personal story is long and agonizing and I'm not sure how I would be able to help you but please believe that I want to. I think the most important thing is to reach out and ask for help as you have done here. If what you need isn't found here, than try something else but please keep working at it.

    I come from a very dysfunctional family. ism's rule the family. I myself now have 19+ years of sobriety and I give credit to God, and the program of AA for giving me the tools "I" needed to stop the self destructive lifestyle I was living. Drinking was rampant in my family, still is for those that are left.. excepting me.. and thank God, my son. Mom and Dad always drank, and Mom had a prescription drug addiction. Mom's brother was a mean dangerous man. He drank, drugged, smuggled and was mob muscle. His wife put out a contract on him and he was murdered by shotgun. At this time my Mother was in the final days of her addictions and things were pretty hopeless. Dad was a functional drunk and a VERY powerful cop. He used every marker he ever owned trying to help Mom to no avail. Hospitals, clinics, Doctors galore to no avail. She was drinking herself to death right before our eyes. If you took the booze away, she hurt herself to get to the hospital where she could get the drugs she wanted. She even faked a break-in and shot herself in the leg once.. Cleaning pieces of your Mom off the walls is not fun.

    Uncle Freddy was murdered May 1, ten days later I took off from work to get books for my new semester at MDCC and decided to stop by and visit Mom. I found her dead on the floor. Calling my father to tell him was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Dad did not take this well. Despite all my Mom had turned into, Dad loved her more than air. After trying to drink himself to death for 6 months he retired and moved away from Miami to Stuart to be closer to my Sister. I became his partner in a printing business. Once I was set up, and in position to make sure my Sis was ok he checked out. I found him sitting in his easy chair service pistol in his lap, brains all over. He never got over Mom's death and wanted to join her. I made it through all that but my own drinking and drugging got progressively worse. I got married, had a son, lost my wife because she had had enough. Along the way, a Grandfather drowned drunk while swimming, and my Dads brother gave himself one under the chin.. I helped clean that one up too..

    Eventually, I found myself boxed in by situations and debt with nowhere to turn. I hated myself for what I had become, and because I couldn't stop the self destruction. I rented a hotel room, got good and drunk, then propped myself up in bed with a razor knife in my hand. I was making sure none of "my" family had to find, or clean up my mess. That I had a two year old son meant very little to me that night. I passed out. I woke up still with the knife in my hand and concluded that I was "nuts" that I needed to locked into a padded room. I was scared to my soul. For the first time in my life I asked for help and got it. 19+ years later, I have still not had a drink. My own personal mantra is that if I can keep the drink out of my hand, I can keep the gun out of my mouth. I still have the thought cross my mind time to time, but I dismiss it as I should. For me, today, it is not an option. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will deal with it when it gets here. Overall, I think I have become pretty healthy and that it won't be how "I" check out.

    I share all this so you will know that others have experienced the thoughts, even after they know first hand the pain and life changing hurt it can bestow on those left behind. I have no answers for you even tho I wish in the strongest way possible that I did.

    Please follow through on this and keep seeking help. Please do not give up even if relief seems hopeless. Do not give up.. please. Send me a pm if you want, I would gladly share my phone number with you and respect your anonymity if you do.
     
  8. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    holy **** cnc.

    anon listen to cnc. if he can get thru that (much kudos to you cnc) then you can get thru what you have to get thru.

    i understand your pain may be different than his but his words still ring true. you can only get help if you ask and there are many of us here (and elsewhere) who will help you if you ask as you have done.

    we are pulling for you.
     
  9. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

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    Marty,
    I have always admired your class and honestly and I now can say I admire your courage. You are an inspiration to us all.
     
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  10. like2god

    like2god Typical white person Luxury Box

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    Wow Marty, that is a tough and powerful story to have to live through. My sympathies and congratulations for overcoming such long odds. I have even more respect for you now than I did before clicking on this thread. :)
     
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  11. cnc66

    cnc66 wiley veteran, bad spelur Luxury Box

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    everyone has crosses to bear, many worse than mine. When I reached out for help, someone took my hand. Our friend Anon has reached out, I hope we can begin the help by taking his/her hand too.
     
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  12. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    First to the question at hand.

    While I am doing this at a distance you sound very much like you have clinical depression likely caused by a chemical imbalance. If so, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!

    I see this regularly and there is a stigma attached to it. Yet no one blames a juvenille diabetic for having a pancreas that doesn't work right so why should society blame a person for a brain which doesn't make all the right chemicals????

    On top of the depression there may be some other things going on like the onset of schizophrenia (treatable) or some nuerosis (very treatable). The key is getting into a good multi-discipline program where medication, therapy, behavior modification, and peer support are available. Most local county mental health programs can do a decent job of referral or you can go through the outpatient unit of a local hospital's mental health unit.

    DO NOT WAIT! I too often see people taking permanant solutions to temporary problems and it is unnecessary!

    There are folks here who care, find the folks nearby who do as well. You do not need to do this alone nor should you try!


    Now to cnc's self disclosure.....that was an incredibly gutsy, loving thing to do. You laid your life open for others to see in order to help a relative stranger. Thank you my friend, that was a brave, selfless act and you are to be eternally thanked for doing it!
     
  13. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    I currently am seeing a therapist. Yes, I try to stay active playing any kind of sport, I haven't been as active lately, its hard for me to get up and do that stuff now.

    Thanks for sharing your story. Your an exceptionally strong person cnc, I have a lot of respect for you, and the way you handled that. That post was an inspiration.

    Thank you for your advice, I think my problem regarding therapy is I am not being fully honest with my therapist. I don't talk about the times when its like this. I need to be more honest, but I have trouble trusting/talking, when I've never had someone to talk too before.
     
  14. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    We do care here.
    Remember, tomorrow is a new day and you never know what good things it may bring your way.
    Hold Fast. And take the advice of the others on here. See someone now, don't wait.
    My prayers are with you.


    Marty. I knew you were special, but you have gone beyond that in my eyers.
    You've been such a friend to me. So, giving and kind. I want to thank you for all you've done for me.
    Your a special man Marty, I'm proud to know you!
     
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  15. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    it is easier to open up and trust someone when you've never had someone to talk to

    rather than

    trying to open up to someone and trust them when you've had them to talk to and they've abused your trust.

    let it out.
     
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  16. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    You are remarkably self aware and that is good. You recognize the need to trust and disclose. Perhaps you could invite the therapist to draw you out more. Being honest not only helps the therapist help you help yourself but by being open with the therapist you stop lying to yourself and that in and of itself is helpful!
     
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  17. femalefinfan

    femalefinfan Phillies fan Luxury Box

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    Its hard to trust therapists. I've been both the therapist and the one receiving therapy and it is very hard to open up to a relative stranger. You may want to bring up some of those trust issues with your therapist. But by all means, I would def try to tell your therapist of the suicidal thoughts, and please please call someone, anyone, before you act on any of them.
     
  18. Fin Fan In Cali

    Fin Fan In Cali Dolphin fan since 1970 Luxury Box

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    Brother or sister, I am sorry to hear of the thoughts that you are experiencing, but please know that there is so much in life to enjoy. :wink2: Marty I love you brother. My story is not as in depth as brother Marty. To make it short, I almost lost and gave away the very best thing in my life, and that being my wife. I almost lost here due to problems we were having and decisions that I regret to this day. She said we are going to counseling or we are through. I had the idea that I was right in my actions, and was being sort of bull headed in the approach. The good man above was looking out for me. I got a great marriage counselor, to which help me figure out that I was about to lose my wife. I did open up, and had a very troubled up bringing as I was the oldest of three boys, and saw and experienced stuff that a healthy family would never see. This lead to some of the feelings and anger that I was brought up with that never got out or were opened up, so I could be me, and not live with my past all bottled up. She was awesome in so many ways. I have been married for 17 years in December.

    I ask you to please think to yourself what brings these feelings/thoughts on, and please open up to the counselor. It will be the best day of your life, and there will be so many more to follow. You can do it, and we all wish you the very best in life! Prayers, thoughts, and best wishes to you feeling better.:hi5: If you need a person to talk to, send me a pm, and we can talk, or I will give you my phone numbers to help you through this. Keep your chin up.
     
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  19. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito. Club Member

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    I have had suicidal thoughts all my life. I have just never believed them.

    I agree with everyone about getting help.

    I just want to give the perspective that the brain thinks things. It thinks things all of the time. It is the thoughts that we hold onto that make us do the things we do and feel the way we feel.

    I have had conversations with my friends all of the time about this, so I know i am not alone in seeing a train coming and then having a thought, "Jump in front of the train." I just think the difference between me and someone who is suicidal is that I do not take that thought seriously. My favorite thoughts are the ones that start out with, "I can completely ruin my friendship or relationships with my family." I say favorite because I cannot believe how disturbing thoughts that can come up after that one.

    My point is that it is easy to make an enemy out of the mind. The quest is instead of fighting the mind and creating something else to feel bad about, the quest is to find ways that those thoughts are something that you do not take seriously. Myself I find my suicidal thoughts funny. I remember during my depressed days in highschool when I would marvel at the fact that I did not see a light at the end of the tunnel and I still do not want to kill myself. Those thoughts just didn't seem right.

    It is my opinion that getting mad at the brain for thinking is like getting mad at the heart for beating.

    As for some actions, it might help with therapy to create a gratitude journal to help train your brain into thinking more positive thoughts.

    I also find the work by Byron Katie to be an amazing tool to use when I just have one thought going through my head that causes anxiety or depression.
     
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  20. Nappy Roots

    Nappy Roots Well-Known Member

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    truer words have never been spoken, same goes for me...


    as for myself, ive had thoughts of things but never thought about it serious. never really took my thoughts seriously. i been through some stuff(not near the stuff that Marty has been through) but ive just always thought of that saying that put it best for me.

    "through every dark night, theres a bright day after that"

    meaning if i could just get through these rough times, everything is going to get better and god will reward your strength with great things to come.

    uptil my younger brother was born a little more then 4 years ago, i wasnt close with much of my family and didnt really have anything to look forward to beside money, so at times i would get depressed. ive did things since i was a youngin to get money illegal ways, but ever since my little brother was born its gave me something to look forward to. how can i take care of him if i were dead or in jail? i dont want him to grow up like i did, even though my mom is a little better now then when i was a kid. shes still got her problems with certain things. i still have to go pick him up sometimes when she incapible to look after him. what if i were dead or locked up on those days? again, no chance i want him growing up like i did. hes the joy to my world. even though that story has less to do with depression and more to do with right or wrong, its still the same sentiment. find something you truly, truly, truly love. because it will really make your life worth living and as someone already said, if you wouldnt continue to get help and get better for yourself, you would do it for that person or that thing you love dearly.

    good luck brother, hopefully everything works out for you.
     
  21. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    Hang in there brother. It does feel good to have someone to live for doesn't it? With the attitude you have, you have the makings of a great father-in-waiting!
     
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  22. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    About 8 years ago I was Baker Acted for a botched suicide attempt. I took a bottle of sleeping pills and washed them down with a lot of bourbon. My former wife found me passed out in the spare room, empty bottle of pills and empty bottle of Jack by my side. I had vomited up most of the mess which saved my life I guess. She woke me up, I was groggy and uncertain about what was going on. She began to freak out and called the police and my family. I regained some of my wits but I was still messed up pretty bad, I think at that point I was in no danger of dying anymore, so I walked out the door as the cops were arriving. The shortest chase a cop was ever involved in ended with me tripping over a bush and falling on my face. I was taken to a hospital, in cuffs, and checked out. The doctor did not order my stomach pumped and told me how lucky I was. After that I was taken to some sort of place where they evaluate folks who do what I did, as well as junkies and the like. I spent the night under observation in a clinic, sharing my room with a heroin addict that was driving me up the wall with his restless antics. I was evaluated in the morning and released.

    It was a scary situation and I think back to how unhappy I was then. I still can't believe I acted out in such a manner, but I did, and in my opinion it has made me a stronger person. I had to go to counseling and I was prescribed medication that turned me into a zombie. After a few months of that I refused to take it any longer. When my head cleared up I took a long hard look at my life and I changed some of the things that were causing me so much pain. Since then things have been much better. I am still prone to bouts of depression, but I control them now, they no longer control me.

    I am not the OP of the thread, just a fellow member who wanted to share an experience with him/her.
     
  23. Big E

    Big E Plus sized porn star

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    Wow...alot of what you said hit home with me...thanks for sharing. :hi5:
     
  24. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito. Club Member

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    The thing that has constantly amazed me about life is how much we are not alone. I grew up with a childish idea that my problems were mine alone. Yes people aren't exactly the same. Still the problems that I faced and the feelings I felt were very similar to what a lot of other people were going through. Hell I even thought looking at my life at 26 and taking stock of where I am at was something that I only did. When I started to talk to people it turns out that not only is it something people do, it is a very common thing for people to do. In fact I just had a conversation with a friend of mine who turned 26 and I was able to use my example to show them how not alone this person was.

    My point with this rant is that no matter what we are going through there is a lot of someones in your life or at least connected to your life that is also going through what you are. In fact there are a few that are not only going through what you are, they were able to move past it or even use it for a positive gain in their lives.

    The beauty of being human is the fact that if one person can do it, you can do it. If you cannot find someone who can do it, you can be the first and help a lot of people.
     
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  25. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    You guys are just amazing.
    You really care about others and show it. That's a wonderful thing.
    God bless all of you.
    Thanks again for allowing to be a part of all of you here.
     
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  26. alen1

    alen1 New Member

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    You guys are awesome. Reading some of your stories has helped me out get rid of stuff that has troubled me in my head lately and just look at the bright side of things. Whomever the original poster is, I hope these stories do the same for you. Wish you the best of luck.

    By the way, I'm not a very open person, at all really, but I did tell one of my better friends one thing and some of my thoughts in the past and his reply was a great one in my opinion; he said "Some of society is a group of *******s. Don't let what anyone bring you down because they aren't better than you. You do what you want and however YOU like it; if they don't like it, they can screw off." I don't know if your troubles relate to this at all but keep that quote in mind if you wish, it works for me.
     
  27. dolphindebby

    dolphindebby Season Ticket Holder Luxury Box

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    Alen, you know we're all here for you. Never be afraid to open up to us by pm's or however you feel most comfortable.
    OK?
    you're a great guy and I love being your friend here at thephins.:wink2:
     
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  28. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

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    I've had my share of tough times as well and when I was younger indulged in a lot of marijuana smoking, occasional Ecstasy pill popping(more than occasional for a period of 1 year) and binge drinking.. Now that I look back upon those times, I can sum it up with a few simple words "Comfortably Numb".
    That was my way of coping with a dysfunctional family and the tremendous guilt and shame that I felt after my younger sister became a quadriplegic at the age of 14, which tore my fragile family apart at the seams. My coping mechanism was to flee and my motto was "f** it".

    Some may say I was blocked from feeling but it helped me get through those tough times.. Today, after understanding my feelings better, and being exposed to people that suffer from emotional problems, I've reached a very simple conclusion:

    Live life in the moment. Worrying about the future and regretting the past only ensure that your life will always be a roller coaster. The fact that we are living breathing humans, living in the best conditions in the world should be reason enough to love life. Live in the present.

    I'm also dealing with some very difficult situations right now in my life, mainly related to marital problems with someone suffering from intense emotional mood swings. Yes, I'm the one who started that thread :D. You guys have inspired me to unmask my shame about this. And to the OP and others that are suffering, there is hope if you allow yourselves to be loved and open with the people around you. Trust me the people in your lives that truly care for you will help you overcome these issues- But you must be willing to be honest about your feelings, but more importantly honest about wanting to feel better.
     
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  29. Boik14

    Boik14 Admin Club Member

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    Sometimes people find it hard to be most honest with those they dont know or know too well. Sometimes people cant fully disclose the full story because they know how much it would hurt those they're close to. If you're having a hard time opening up to those you know, talk to a therapist and have them tell the story to those you know best. The reason I might consider this is because the larger your support group the less chance you can fail at overcoming your depression. I'm no therapist but I guess if I was facing your problems I might consider doing it that way. I think I would want my closest friends and family around me.

    cnc, ffic, and nappy's stories are stuff you can draw inspiration from. Stay strong brother/sister and if you need a friend to talk to PM me and ill be more then happy to help however I can, even if all I can do is listen or suggest :up:
     
  30. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    Hi guys, its OP again. Yesterday was the worst day of my life(monday). So that day I decided to call my best friend in the world. She doesn't live near me anymore, so in hindsight it was probably a bad decision to reach out to her. Well anyway, I told her some stuff that was going through my head and she basically blew me off, she said stuff like "I dont get why people would even think that" and the one that killed me was "I don't have time to deal with your ****, please leave me alone"...now I know she is going through some stuff, her brother got arrested and it had her down. But that was the worst thing she could've told me. I hung up and cried......then, I took a knife from my sisters kitchen, it had a jagged blade to it. And I put it up to my neck, and I started sawing at my neck but stopped early because I wouldn't be able to hide my wounds...So I went to my shin/calf and tore up my leg, i have like 9 different cuts on my leg, and one spot on my arm with a lot of little scratches. On my neck and stomach I never drew blood. I cried all night and was scared of myself and what I'd do next. That was the first time I intentionally hurt myself.

    Now today(Tuesday) is the day that I have weekly therapy, and I didn't bring it up to my therapist. I'm not sure what to do anymore.
     
  31. Seeking Answers

    Seeking Answers New Member

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    also I'd just like to say that I think that was only a one time thing, and I want to hide it and act like it never happened, and won't again.
     
  32. Dol-Fan Dupree

    Dol-Fan Dupree Tank? Who is Tank? I am Guy Incognito. Club Member

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    My advice is to simply find someone who had a similar situation that you do that got through it and then do what they did. If that doesn't work then search for someone else and then do what they did.

    Your solution is out there somewhere.
     
  33. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    it probably isn't a one time thing unfortunately.

    you need to tell your therapist this stat. or call the hotline i posted if you can't trust your therapist. you have to tell someone more than us on the internet because those people can actually reach out and touch you.. and help you. there's only so much talking can do before you need to go on meds IMO.

    don't sell the fact that you tried to hurt yourself short. it may only get worse (as in, you might succeed).

    also; about your friend that you reached out to. if i were you i would have to reconsider the friendship at this point. because after telling someone something like that and then them telling you to leave them alone is pretty ****ed up. might just be my opinion.

    you gotta get this stuff out to someone who can help you that is licensed or can give you medications. if you think you can't afford it look into state medical insurance. the forms are easy to fill out.

    the way i see it you have a few paths.

    1) the one you're traveling now which will almost certainly lead to death
    2) reach out and tell your therapist or someone who can try and help you in real life

    or

    3) miraculous cure

    3 probably won't happen and 2 may or may not depending on you.

    1 is almost a certainty if you keep traveling down this road. and i'm not going to sit here and lie to you and say that i can think of a million reasons to live because i'm in a pretty deep funk myself.. but i can sure as hell think of a few reasons not to take my own life.

    1) just around the corner there may be something better. hell, there might not be. but i won't know if i'm not here. and i value the chance that it may be going up more than i do the fact that it's going to go down further (it almost can't).

    2) i want to see what i can make out of myself by the time natural selection rolls itself around. we've all got our time to die. why take it upon myself to do it and take a chance on missing the good parts in life.

    3) we may or may not be coming back. as far as i know - this is my one chance.

    also; a quote which helps me put it in perspective:

    - Carl Jung.

    In other words; if you were happy all the time it wouldn't mean as much to you as it would if you had experienced sadness in your life.

    Seriously before you do something like that again.. you gotta reach out. You might not have the chance again.

    this might seem frightfully blunt and morbid; but i feel as if the time to beat around the bush is gone. or close to it.
     
  34. Vendigo

    Vendigo German Gigolo Club Member

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    What you really need to do is get professional help. As in right now. If you don't want to tell your therapist, go to your family doctor. Or to a hospital. Or call 911. I appreciate what the folks here are trying to do but if it has reached the point where you intentionally cut yourself, there's nothing anyone of us can do for you. You need professional help and you need it ASAP. Please go see a doctor. Now.
     
  35. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

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    Did you cut yourself to relieve pain or was it done to hurt yourself? Did the act of cutting release tension or were you trying to inflict pain?
    Please go see a doctor ASAP as in right NOW. If you need help or feel embarassed PM me or any other person you may trust here and I'm sure we'll be able to help get you to the right person / treatment facility.
     
  36. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    First of all, clearly you need to talk to this therapist, I mean really talk or find one whom you will talk to and do it now!!

    The feelings are getting stronger and the questions the others are asking you, "was this done to relieve pain or to feel pain", need to be answered in a face to face meeting.

    As to the friend you called, I'm going to say something you probably don't want to hear, Did you select her in order to have a failed conversation? I mean she is at a distance, has a host of problems herself, and it seemed like you hadn't spoken to her in a while? Also, your "best friend in the whole world" doesn't live anywhere near you any more? You have not made a new friend locally?

    These are the things you need to be working out with a therapist.

    Many therapists have been trained to be passive and to let you come out to them. I've only had enoughh training to be dangerous :wink2: and thus I get a little more agressive in my probing. Find a more agressive prober otherwise you are wasting both your times. You had a failed suicide attempt and don't talk about it the next day? There are lots of things that need to be probed here, get it done!

    We care
     
    Jaydog57, Fin-Omenal, Miamian and 7 others like this.
  37. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Peeking in Nabo's Basement
    I don't know how old you are, but here is an article on 'cutting' that you should check out OP. It's geared towards teens but the info should be relevant no matter how old you are. The act of cutting oneself is different than attempting suicide. Give it a read and good luck, and if you need to reach out to someone talk to us. We ain't gonna blow you off.

    http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/feeling_sad/cutting.html#
     
  38. Bumrush

    Bumrush Stable Genius Club Member

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    Yes opfinistic, very good information.

    Cutting is often a way to ease pain, the act of inflicting pain releases overwhelming energy.

    OP, have you been feeling very "black" lately? Mood swings from high to low, or just a general overwhelming sense of depression?
    Also, feel free to reach out to us here, many of us have either dealt with the same feelings or have immediate family members or loved ones that have suffered with their own demons.
     
  39. Ohiophinphan

    Ohiophinphan Chaplain Staff Member Luxury Box

    It would also help a little to know your gender? I think most of us have assumed you are a guy but some of your reported behaviors might suggest you are female. Whatever personal data you would be comfortable sharing might help us, help you! Behavior is often gender specific and needs to be treated accordingly.
     
  40. The Rev

    The Rev Totus Tuus Administrator Luxury Box Club Member

    Sorry, I'm late to the thread. There is not much I can add her except from my work with children (and no, I am not comparing you to them nor would I) who have gone through these situations.

    If you cut, there is a reason (attention seeking or release as brother Bumrush stated) If you want attention, you obviously have ours..loud and clear. We are concerned and very worried. Pastor Keith and Jen are great resources here but you need someone tangible (face to face) help. If you don't like your therapist or feel they cannot help, FIND ANOTHER.

    Have you considered asking a professional to reinstitute a Baker Act on you? You are a danger to yourself now and with the Baker Act you could get the help you need.

    We are all VERY worried about you. We need you to understand that. If I can use a bible passage here (with no offense to Keith)...we are all one body here. If one part of our body hurts, the other parts of the body suffer. We need all parts of the body well.

    If you need to, I am available via PM and can direct you to an appropriate center.

    God bless you and you have my prayers. My heart hurts for you.
     

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