**** Swami B's PS3 Madden League Power Rankings - Week 13 ****

IT'S A WEEK OF TIES, GENTLEMEN!

(NOT including any week 13 results)

1) Carolina Panthers
Look out ladies of Charlotte! Big Ben is in town. If you thought the Panthers offense was hard to tame before, in the words of Bachmann-Turner Overdrive, "You ain't seen nothin' yet."

2) Jacksonville Jaguars
The hot team in Florida this year isn't the Bucs, it isn't the Dolphins, it's the Jags. It may be time for this team to hoist its first Lombardi trophy, but first they'll have to beat the defending champions in the Superbowl... If they make it there.

3) Cleveland Browns
The Coors Light Silver Bullet train out of Colorado almost ran over the Browns last week, as the Broncos came up short, 17-31, of staging a huge upset. This week the Browns have the mammoth task of knocking off the number one ranked Panthers. I think there's an upset in the making.

4) Detroit Lions
Pounding on Rex Ryan's Jets may make the Lions #1 in many of our hearts, but not in the rankings. To become more relevant, the Lions must now beat one of the teams above them in the rankings. Their opportunity likely won;t come until the playoffs. In the meantime, they'll continue to try to break the PS3's math processor against CPU opponents.

5) New Orleans Saints
Riding a six-game winning streak, this team is hot. even more impressive is that injuries to Reggie Bush, Drew Brees and Darren Sharper have done nothing to slow this team's momentum. With the Falcons and Panthers still on the schedule, this team could still win the division. Don't count them out.

6) New York Giants
Funny business in New York with a horrendous loss to the Redskins, then a thumping of the Cardinals. Who are these Giants? Do they even know? Word on the streets is that the GM has built a special shelf in his office for the Lombardi trophy. A little premature? Probably, but this is a team to be reckoned with. Forget the runningbacks, who get plenty of press, how about unsung hero Kenny Phillips. All this Free Safety does is shut down every opponents deep passing game, making them pay with interceptions.


7) San Diego Chargers
A stunning victory over the Titans got my attention. Holding one of the league's top rushing tandems to only twenty-five yards is incredible. They dared rookie QB Dane Morrow to throw, and he wasn;t up to the task. By the time veteran Kerry Collins came in to save the day, it was too late. The Chargers have what it takes to win against any opponent, and the addition of dominant Strong Safety Adrian Wilson to the roster certainly won't hurt, until he hits you.


TIED FOR EIGHTH

8) Baltimore Ravens
This scribe modestly points out that he predicted, weeks ago, that the Ravens would be where they are now, at 7-4. And the winning could continue. Don;t be surprised to see this team secure the AFC Wildcard spot. Shockingly, there are whispers of Ray Lewis, the face of the franchise, being shopped. Could the Ravens GM have early word of Lewis considering retirement and be seeking to net something before he leaves the nest? Lots of storylines as we race to the finish in Baltimore.

8) Kansas City Chiefs
Chiefs lose and move up. No one has made the Jags break a sweat this season... except the Chiefs. Seriously underpowered and under-talented, the coaching staff continues to keep the red and white operating at a super high level. Both the Chiefs and Titans come off losses and face each other next week. Who gets their respect back?

10) Tennessee Titans
Sooner or later someone was bound to commit to stopping the Titans running game. the question was, could the Titans throw when they needed to? The answer? Not well enough. The Chargers may have revealed a blueprint to beat this tough Tennessee team. The other question mark is, who starts at QB next week? Do the coaches go back to rookie Dane Morrow, or trust the veteran Collins. The Titans may have themselves a mid-season QB controversy brewing.

TIE FOR ELEVENTH
11) Green Bay Packers
The Pack lost to the lowly Iggles. My bookie says the Philly wiseguys cleaned up on the shocker. I'm not sayin' it was fixed. I'm not sayin' it wasn't. I'm just sayin'.

11) Dallas Cowboys
In a week of upsets the Cowboys lose to the Texans. I should probably drop them in the rankings, but it'd take a lot of figuring out so for now they stay where they are. If they lose this week, I'll drop 'em double for the losses. If thy win they can stay here, and save me work.

11) Seattle Seahawks
A good offense needs help from the defense if this squad is to climb into the top ten. Maybe they can hold the punchless 49ers to under 20 points.

14) Pittsburgh Steelers
What kind of General Manager trades a two-time Superbowl champion quarterback in favor of starting a Quarterback trying to rehab his NFL image? Well, in Steeltown anything goes. We'd call it a PR move, but is dogfighting any better than date rape? Hey, as long as the touchdowns keep coming who cares, right Pittsburgh fans?

15) Denver Broncos
A spirited bucking Bronco team gave Cleveland all it could handle. Interceptions and penalties continue to cost this team, as it shows lack of discipline and focus on the field. Reduce the penalties and the mental errors and this team could contend for a wildcard or the division. Just don't know if this young squad can do it.

16) Arizona Cardinals
A great start now looks like a sinking cruiseliner as the Cardinals got torpedoed by the Giants 52-18 and lost the division lead. With the wildcard race in the NFC as tight as it is, these birds better start flapping or they'll be squawking about how they squandered a 6-0 start.

17) Indianapolis Colts
For those who counted the Colts out, look out, here they come. It may be too late to make the playoffs, but you don't want the Colts on your schedule down the stretch. Manning is manning-up in Indy and his team has rallied behind him.


TIE FOR EIGHTEENTH
18) Atlanta Falcons
A pretty low ranking for a team with a winning record, but the Falcons have fallen out of the race for the division with their latest loss to the Panthers. Worse, they are on the verge of being out of the wildcard race. A normally reliable Michael Turner may have fumbled away the Falcons' season.

18) Chicago Bears
Middle of the pack in the rankings and the standings, this team needs a clear vision of where it will go next year. If the Bears lose to the Packers the playoffs look unlikely. One last gasp for the mighty teddy bears.

20) New England Patriots
Timely INTs and a fumble recovery, plus a special teams kick return touchdown help the Pats squeak by a Vikings squad that thoroughly outplayed them. The Vikes mistakes, though few, were big and critical. The Pats have a chance to win the East.

21) Minnesota Vikings
They win, they lose, they win, they lose, they lose. This is a sorry Viking Horde, whose casualties have outweighed their confirmed kills. The Vikes look to salve their wounds by pasting a sorry Jets team which is itself coming off a bad 128-7 loss. The Vikes need to make a run to show fans it's worth coming out through to snow to see this team.

22) Miami Dolphins
The porpoises are drowning.

23) Houston Texans
Has Houston fallen off the face of the Earth? "This number has been disconnected" says the voice when you dial Texans' HQ. Did the owner pack the team up and move them, a la Baltimore Colts, in the dead of the night? Where are they? If you have the answer, contact local authorities.

24) Philadelphia Eagles
Team Mantra: lose the easy ones, win da hard ones.

25) New York Jets
Wow. How did they score a touchdown?

26) San Francisco 49ers
Better than they play. Worse than the fans deserve.

27) St. Louis Rams
Thank God for the Bengals and Bucs, eh Saint Louie? A horrendously performing team takes it's weekly lumps like a good weekend boxer.

TIE FOR LAST
32) Washington Redskins
The players need to fire the coaches and owner.

32) Cincinnati Bengals
Badliness

32) Oakland Raiders
Like watching a porno which is all ugly people.

32) Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Tampa Bay Succaneers

32) Buffalo Bills
Why even field a team?

 

Thanks for pointing out the error, Scott. I didn't have a lot of time to get it written today so rushed a bit and made a couple mistakes, it appears.

I'll go back through and make some corrections to the comments.

Good luck against Sick.

I already told SICK that I am picking the Browns beating the Panthers as the upset of the week.

 

LOL!!! Just trying to light a fire under your team, Starry. Afraid they'll get complacent being on top the entire 17 weeks of the regular season.

Consider it a reminder of whom you need to beat to secure your Lombardi trophy. ;)

 

Because it will be Sick, not you?

 

And by the way, I love how you put that in a quote, like you got it from somewhere credible or something. LOL.

You paraphrasing an old Dr. Z rankings comment?


(or is my amnesiac *** forgetting that I said that about you just a few weeks ago??? lol.)

 

By the way, guys, apologies for the half-assed job on writing the rankings this week. I didn;t really have time, but people really wanted me to do it, so I tried to at least give you something.

In future, I think I'm better off waiting til I can put out a decent product. That means ya may have ta wait a few weeks. ;)

I promise to have another one out before the season ends, for sure, though!

 

So you're the dickhole uncle in this scenario?