I am fed up and done with my own hyposcrisy.
One minute I diss Chad Henne, the next I am being all positive and saying we should wait and see, that he's growing and we'll see how great he is by year's end. What the **** is up with this goddamned flip-flopping?
It is so annoying.
Henning throws the ball and so I yell about how stupid he is not to run it! Ronnie and Ricky are running well today you IDIOT!! I throw stuff.
Then he runs and gets stuffed and I have to go pick that stuff up and throw it again. You idiot Henning!! Why didn't you throw?? To anyone?? Anyone can see they expect us to run to Ricky and Ronnie, moron!! We've done it ALL DAY!!
Why am I a moron? Why do I yell completely opposite things five minutes apart? Do I have an angry variant of Down's syndrome?
We go three and out, our season is done and I can't finish my cheeseburger. We score a touchdown and I say there'll probably be a flag. What a freakin' downer I am to watch games with!! What the hell buddy, do you hate the Dolphins or what? Then, a bit later, when I start to believe we may actually deserve to win, I get excited about a touchdown and this team is like *******s and candy on Christmas. I love them. Until they run the wrong route, then I hate them. And myself for hating them after loving them.
Why was I dumb enough to love them again? Why am I such a fickle lover? I hate this kind of fan. Wait, I AM this kind of fan.
Here's a typical day in my head.
Sparano is great at preparing our guys thoroughly... wait, wtf is he keeping Bonamego for. Man, he's not good at clock management. I'm not sure he's great on gamedays. Maybe he's the wrong guy for us. But who else would be better. Yeah, he's good for us.
Ireland is good. Wait, maybe his roster b.s.-ing is what put Sparano in a special teams hole. And we cut all our tight ends. Sparano or Ireland sucks. Wait, maybe Pacells sucks, cuz he ran away. Yeah, that's it. All three were a mistake. Carl Peterson may take over? You know, Sparano and Ireland haven't done THAT bad a job. Maybe if we can just see Henne progress...
Know what else pisses me off??? That I know EVERYTHING!!! Oh, I mean I KNOW. Better than any of you, or the coaches. I can see clearly what's wrong and how everything should run and I let EVERYONE IN THE CHAT ROOM KNOW. Oh yes. I LOVE predicting what will happen before it happens by announcing it to a captive Chatroom so I can crow about it after and pat myself on my arrogant back WHOOO!! I'm a ****ing GENIUS!
I know what call the OC should make before HE knows. Then when Dan Henning makes the exact call I wanted and it fails miserably, I conveniently pretend to ignore that my brilliant foresight was wrong. I don;t mention it in the chatroom. I just shut up until my next prediction and no one calls me out and says "You are wrong way more than you are right." So I keep acting right. YAY ME!
Also, when someone disagrees with me, clearly they are missing something. Or don;t know football. Clearly. Unless it's a guy I know is more obsessed than me (Alen?). It's VERY important, like the world NEEDS me to convince these people to see it my way. Everything is riding on that ****, like an episode of 24.
I pumped us all up two years ago with a thread about how John Beck was going to be incredible because he was a student of the game, like Peyton Manning. Clearly you should all listen to me when I speak!
I also am tired of being a mean dickhole to people all day after watching the Dolphins. I am excellent at resorting to gradeschool sandbox conversatiuonal skills for the rest of the day. "Did they win, Barry?" "DUH. Noooooo." Rolling the eyes. Saying my turkey sandwich tastes bad when it is delicious, just because I have the taste of poo in my mouth since I am sulking over the Dolphins.
Champion sulking ensues. Certainly. I am a WORLD champion sports fan sulker. Pouty lower lip. Despondent gaze. World-is-ending gloomy disposition.
Then I come on here and share it with all of you fine people, telling you how we suck. "We" suck. Not only including you in the statement (you're welcome), but acting like I am ON the team! Of course, when we lose badly enough "they" suck. Not we. I am not on the Dolphins roster when it doesn;t suit me. This hypocrisy cannot be tolerated!
So the HELL with me as a fan. I am sick of it I tell you!!!!! I refuse to watch games with myself from now on.
DONE with the hypocrisy. I'm done.
Til next week.
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