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The Rules of Food:

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Fin D, Jul 11, 2010.

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  1. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    1. If you get pizza from a chain joint instead of a mom & pop place, you did it wrong.
    2. Real men don't eat toasted bagels.
    3. Putting A-1 on a steak is only acceptable if the steak sucks. Even then don't make it obvious. Ketchup is never acceptable.
    4. Salad bars are for women.


    Continue the list with your own.
     
  2. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    5 go to philly for cheesesteaks. anything else is not a cheesesteak. or a sub, or a hoagie, or anything remotely close. the tri-state region is probably the best, and even if the place is called "mike from philly's" cheesesteaks unless the guy is actually from philly it still doesn't count.

    6 put cheese whiz on it when you get it. at least once.

    7 if you're going to make a philly cheesesteak the trick is to use rib eye or angus beef and shave it thinly
     
  3. FinSane

    FinSane Cynical Dolphins Fan

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    8. Triple-Shot Expresso Lattes are for chicks
     
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  4. anlgp

    anlgp ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A

    9. the rules of food are obviously subjective
     
  5. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    10) If you are eating Taco Bell and it's going to be daylight soon you have had a fun night.
     
  6. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    11) If you are hanging with Rex Ryan, none of these rules apply to you/your crew. Save for the Taco Bell & Salad Bar part.
     
  7. m ino

    m ino New Member

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    if you go to a chinese resturant and get the gumbo off the buffet line you lose all rights to complain about how bad said gumbo is.
     
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  8. Thunderbolt89

    Thunderbolt89 Well-Known Member

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    13. When eating at a buffet,if something doesn't taste good don't complain and continue to eat it.
    14. Don't call it a barbecue if there are just hot dogs and hamburgers.
    15. Food like pizza and hamburgers are not meant to be eaten with a fork and knife.
     
  9. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    15. (Similar to #14) You don't eat a cookie with fork and knife.
     
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  10. Sethdaddy8

    Sethdaddy8 New Member

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    16. If you order a coffee at Starbucks...screw them and their snarky, trendy, size names. Order the gods damned Medium and call it a Medium. And yeah, as some else eluded to...don't order the fancy pants crap. Be a man and order a regular *** coffee.
     
  11. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    17. (related to #8, and #16) REAL MEN hunt and kill their coffee.
     
  12. Jaydog57

    Jaydog57 Canes/Fins/Magic fan

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    19. Similar to #15, you don't eat french fries with a fork.

    20. Don't be a wussy with the hot sauce.
     
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  13. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    21) When eating hot wings and drinking beer wash your hands very well before taking a leak.
     
  14. VanDolPhan

    VanDolPhan Club member Club Member

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    Related: 22) When making jalapeno hot sauce, wash your hands before taking a leak (happened to a co-worker when I used to work in a restaurant during my college years...damn funny.....for me..not him).
     
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  15. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Ha! Ha! I remember you, you jerk!
     
  16. maynard

    maynard Who, whom?

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    we can just amend all these with:

    23) never use a fork, knive or spoon
     
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  17. Bumrush

    Bumrush Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    First of all, toasted bagels RULE.. So STFU on that one.

    24) Frozen Pina Coladas are for sissies.

    25) Arby's Roast Beef Sandwich is NOT roast beef.

    26) Miller Lite will not reduce the beer gut you already have and still tastes like sh*t
     
  18. Bumrush

    Bumrush Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    27) Double dipping does not make you more manly.. It makes you a disgusting pig with no manners..
     
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  19. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    28) Sporks are deadly weapons. Always treat your spork with respect and in turn it will save your life one day.
     
  20. Bumrush

    Bumrush Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    29) Size does matter when it comes to sausage and hot dogs.. The bigger the better.

    30) Sauerkraut was invented in heaven by god himself.

    31) If this thread is larger than Sections Porn Parody thread we will be required to chug down an entire bottle of Tabasco.
     
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  21. Bumrush

    Bumrush Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    32) Boiling water and opening a jar of tomato sauce doesn't make you a chef.
     
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  22. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    Sure they do. Is it because the crunchy texture helps balance the smooth milky texture of your appletini flavored cream cheese? Or were you born with both sets of genitalia?:shifty:
     
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  23. Bumrush

    Bumrush Season Ticket Holder Club Member

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    33) If you are eating at Denny's and want to bang the waitress you have probably had waaaay to much to drink and are in danger of dying of alcohol poisoning.
     
  24. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    34) When the biggest dude in the room asks for your cornbread you should never give it to him. If he wants some cornbread, let him go up to the front and get his own portion of cornbread, that's your cornbread, **** him. If you let have your cornbread, you're gonna be ironin' his drawers and clippin' his toenails.
     
  25. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    ...and deserve the herpes that you end up getting.


    Sam?
     
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  26. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    no but it does keep lucky alive and well......:hi5:
     
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  27. unluckyluciano

    unluckyluciano For My Hero JetsSuck

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    Just how long have you associated cornbread with prison rape?
     
  28. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    On a side note:

    You can't have my cornbread. That's for damn sure. You try and take my cornbread, Killing Spree, Part 2 gon' begin up in here on your ***. You thinking about my cornbread, better get the taste out your mouth. That's for damn sure.

    **** that, 'cause I'm from New York City, goddammit. Nobody take no cornbread from me. That goes for anyone of you mother****ing farmers who wanna start some ****. You **** around with me, there's gonna be consequences and repercussions.
     
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  29. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    Can I have some cornbread?
     
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  30. bigbry

    bigbry Huge Member

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    When he became my roommate a few years ago.
     
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  31. maynard

    maynard Who, whom?

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    mi cornbread es su cornbread
     
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  32. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    Cornbread or cornholed, in prison you get a choice.
     
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  33. AbideN703

    AbideN703 Yes, I'd hit it

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    Paul Rudd, is that you?
     
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  34. arsenal

    arsenal Sunglasses and advil

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    35) Salad is not a meal, and if you do get a side salad with your steak or other manly meat, only ceasar salad is allowed
    36) Meat to non-meat ration during any non-breakfast meal must always be over 1.5:1
    37) Ribs must be eaten off the bone using your hands, any utensil use is punishable by a smack across the face
     
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  35. opfinistic

    opfinistic Braaaaains!

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    38) The 5 second rule does not apply when eating a burrito at the beach. Ever.
     
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  36. arsenal

    arsenal Sunglasses and advil

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    does the 5 second rule ever really apply??? speaking of burritos...

    38A) Burritos must be picked up and eaten with hands regardless of how absurdly large said burrito is. Items that fall out of the burrito can be eaten with a utensil only after the rest of the burrito is finished.
     
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  37. Jaydog57

    Jaydog57 Canes/Fins/Magic fan

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    39. When making a sandwich for anyone other than yourself, do NOT assume that Miracle Whip is a good substitute for mayonnaise.
     
  38. MikeHoncho

    MikeHoncho -=| Censored |=- Club Member

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    40) **** Miracle Whip
     
  39. Fin D

    Fin D Sigh Club Member

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    They have, by far, the most annoying commercials I've ever seen. Apparently they think the way to sell Fauxnaisse, is to make it a symbol of a young people's revolution. Soooooooooooooooooo effing stupid.
     
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  40. hoss

    hoss New Member

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    41) If you don't wake up the next morning and fart for like 45 seconds while taking the morning piss, you didn't really eat much of a meal the night before.
     

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