Got this in an email, hope you like it because I did.


The English are feeling the pinch in
relation to recent kidnapping of Navy personnel and terrorist threats from
Iran, and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz
in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists themselves have been
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire
of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has
raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher
levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory,
effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a
heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout
Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They
also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual,
and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines
ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the
new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.