We’ve all seen what the Miami Dolphins are capable of doing on the football field (not much), but what if we were to take the same team, transport them via time machine to 1983, place them inside an Apple II, and force them to travel across a digital country, braving the elements, hunting for food, and trying to survive as pioneers on The Oregon Trail?
Would the Dolphins fare better on this trip than they do on the football field? Would they fare worse? I decided to find out.
____________________
My first choice to aid Coach Philbin on his journey is Ryan Tannehill, whose accuracy will come in handy when it’s time to hunt for meals. I’ll also need someone who can fill in, should one of the oxen die, so I select Cameron Wake, who can probably just pick up the wagon and carry it on his back. Do we even need oxen? The fourth member of the group will be Brian Hartline. He has no discernible skills, but when you’re taking on a task as daunting as The Oregon Trail, it’s always good to have a gritty white guy who will give 110% and do all of the little things. I’m probably going to regret choosing him over someone more talented and skilled, but, hey, that’s the Dolphins! And, finally, the last man joining the group will be Stephen Ross, chosen simply for comedic purposes.
Click to expand...