Official ThePhins.com Poster Draft (Live Draft Here)

When holding the overall first pick in the draft, you need to make sure that you get it right. Nothing can hinder a franchise worse than screwing up the first overall pick. With that said, what do you look for in a first overall pick?

Talent? Leadership? Consistancy? Good looks? I think it has to be a combination of all of those traits (and having met some of you in real life, most of you fall WAY short in the good looking department, consider yourselves UDFA material...).

So with that said, with the first pick, in thephins.com poster Draft, The NorCal WhoopTooshies select:

SAMPHIN, DE, Lounge University. Now, you may ask why I decided to draft myself first overall. It is simple really. Bragging rights. I can now hold over everyone else that not only did I win the March Madness tourney from last year, but now I am the NUMBER 1 pick in the draft!

Beyound that though, I have been a long time member of the board who contributes virtually daily. You know I am gonna show up and be very vocal, which is what you need to be on defense. Communication is key. On top of that I have a wicked spin moves that I use in the PoFo forums and ave a great sack (ability to get to the quarterback...pervs).

DGB is on the clock.

With the second overall selection, the Angry Beavers of Niagara Falls select:

Celtkin, QB, University of Idaho

Raised in the streets of Idaho, Celtkin is quite possibly the top prospect in ThePhins.com Poster Draft. He grew up slinging potatoes at nerds as a child which lead to a couple high school state championships. Celtkin is a man among men, he is the Peyton Manning of ThePhins.com. Celtkin is everything you ask for in a quarterback, he has the talent, the leadership, and the confidence to take you the distance.

The Angry Beavers went out and grabbed the top quarterback in the draft to lead them into the promised land. Celtkin offers a lot to the team as he one of the top members at ThePhins.com. He is one of the founders and owners of ThePhins.com and the first member of ThePhins.com, which makes him a crucial piece in the puzzle. Celtkin is an army veteran as well, so he knows how to handle things when he is under pressure.

Coach GridIronKing34 has went on to say, "I couldn't believe that Samphin passed on a franchise player to select himself. I know the man has an ego, but I really think this guy is out of his mind. But it's his loss, no complaints here. We're happy to have Celtkin on this team as our leader and quarterback."

What wins ball games for a football team? Speed? Agility? Disgusting Smell of a opponets arm pits? Sure.......well......maybe.....

In my football playing career i learned alot, alot that i can carry into my new profession........

Now i have the 3rd overall pick.....the first pick was a travesty to say the least......

The second pick was a great one, my pick...........

is coming in a second

You see, in the trenches is where (in my opinion) ball games are won.....but behind the center is where you need a captain, a leader, and someone that wont crack under pressure......this man has faced pressure in his life, and has smashed it under his wheels......the 3rd selection of "The Phins" Poster draft.......The Palm Beach Sick Faulkers Select......out of The University of Illinois.........Quaterback.....

Dr.....



Astro......




Zoom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to the team Sir, I look forward to you calling the plays in my huddle for a long time

With the 4th selection in the poster draft, the People that Matter of Gotham select...

Muck - QB - The School of Hard Knocks
Benevolent Despot

Muck will serve as the quarterback, and cornerstone of this franchise. His knack for leadership and his undying work behind the scenes, can only be matched by his amazing ability to deal a knockout blow in only one post. We know we are getting an all-time great here, and are lucky he was available at the #4 spot.

NFL Comparison: Brett Favre/Peyton Manning combined

Having a shortlist of about 30 guys for my number 1 pick, I never really expected two or three of them to be still left come my turn. In fact I was so sure this guy would be gone I didn’t even bother doing a write up for him.

A great analyst on anything about football, and in my opinion tons better than most journalists around the NFL. He spends hours tirelessly going over tape looking for strengths and weaknesses in players, never afraid to give his opinion, or tell you what he thinks of yours.

This guy will be the first in the office day after match day

This guy is my Offensive Co-ordinator

With the 5th pick in the first round, The Compton Misfitz select

ckparrothead

Mel Kiper Jr.: I believe the Mexico City Hooligans can not pass up a future Hall of Fame left tackle in Griddles. He has scouts raving about his work ethic but question his abilities to communicate with others due to lack of knowledge. The pick is in, we will see what the Hooligans do..

Roger Goodell: With the first pick, the Mexico City Hooligans select …….

Aqua4Ever04, WR, I Love Me Some Me Elementary

The skinny: May be a reach but Aqua4Ever04 is a heavy contributor to the depths of the ocean of thephins.com. He has made an enormous impact on others with his amazing knowledge. Had a productive final season at ILMSM Elementary with 2254 posts on 61 reps. Makes everyone around him better and will continue to do so for the Hooligans. May hold out and wants his damn money! other than that, nice guy.

Touted as: Rich man’s Terrell Owens

With the 7th overall pick in The Phins Poster Draft, Ronnie Brown's Town is proud to draft Quarterback, Boomer!

In his time at um some British university, Boomer has displayed an uncanny understanding of his offensive scheme and displayed great leadership qualities on the field. He's got a cannon Marino esque arm and awesome accuracy as he almost always hits the receiver in stride. His ability to decipher defenses is no different then any of the all time greats like Manning or Brady. What seperates him is his willingness to stand in the pocket the extra second and take the hit just to make sure he can get the ball in a spot where the receiver can catch it.

I hope Boomer will graciously accept this 7 year/72 million dollar offer with 30 million in guarantees plus his own luxury suite and use of the owners private plane. As a franchise Ronnie Brown's town is psyched to have him on board!

NFL Comparison: Marino and Montana

With the 8th overall pick, Ricky Williams' Secret SoCal Stash goes local for its selection of defensive coordinator. That honor goes to Fin Fan In Cali. He's just the perfect fit for this team. He lives in SoCal, works superbly as an Operations Manager (excellent experience for managing a top notch D), and he's a former Marine sergeant so you know he'll bring the toughness to this D along with great managing skills. He's also a great leader and mentor. Plus, he's an admin and you always want power on your side (like say to ban a rival team coach or player for you before gametime...). It's hard to find a spot where we could use someone of his greatness and talent but DC fits most of em. But I dare say he could also find himself as the leader of the D as a brusing stalwart MLB.

NFL Comparison: Zach Thomas if he became an operations manager.

For the 9th overall pick, now that the position of DC has been superbly filled, a big decision had to be made. There were so many options but only one pick. With teams going offense (mostly QB), it was time to find someone who can negate a QB. But how to negate one? By countering with intelligence. Getting the inside stuff on your plays, directing it to your fellow player (or poster in this case) so everyone can read the opposing QB like Griddles reads Green Eggs and Ham. Now who's the one responsible in collecting so much valuable intel, keeping your fellow man informed, and executing it? That one is ATVZ400, the RWSSS new ILB. The man has eyes and ears everywhere so you know he'll know before you'll know. If you can catch my drift. By the time you do, ATVZ400's got 10 pages worth of new intel. Now combine that with FFIC and you've got a combo that can outread and outpower any QB or offense in general.

Comparison: Tedy Bruschi

With the 2nd pick of the 2nd round Ronnie Brown's Town selects Pink Dove, Defensive End, from Purple Haze University.

At 6'8"/275 with ridiculous measureables, we know we have just gotten the pass rusher we need to fortify our defense for a number of years. Pinky has an outstanding knowledge of the game, spends much time in the film room, and leaves it all out on the field. He tends to lead by example. There were some questions in his psychological evaluation as he has been known to bring a hockey stick on the field in an attempt to cross check or slash the ball loose from offensive players! On Ronnie Brown's Town we welcome this type of instability and chalk it up to his Canadian, hockey loving roots!

NFL Comparison: Joe Greene/Reggie White

Games are determined by big, sweaty, big, 330 pound beasts that will eat your babies for lunch in the trenches. This man could dominate any pass rusher that comes through with his determination, hard work and POWER. Many believe he will be a cornerstone for the Mexico City Hooligans franchise.

And now, with the third pick in the second round, the Mexico City Hooligans select cnc66.

cnc66 is a very versatile offensive linemen that will be a grand part in making the Hooligans a winning franchise. Touted as the next Bob Keuchenberg.

Defensive linemen

BEWARE:angry:

With the Misfitz second round pick, It is with great delight that I am able to pick Shouright. For me there is very little to choose between a select band of posters, that stand out as being of very high quality. And Shou stands out in my mind as one of those people. A great student of the game, he is equally adept at assessing current, or historical aspects of the game, and I have the greatest amount of respect for him and what he says. I wont say that I always agree with what he says, but it wouldn’t be much fun around here if we all agreed with each other, all of the time. Even in non-agreement I do understand where he comes from though (most of the time).

He also has the uncanny knack of getting hold of an average debate and turning it into heated discussion, with guys nearly at each others throats by the end of the thread. Transferring that sort of ability into being a coach, he would be the sort of guy I would like to have around coaching, when say for instance, you had two guys of equal physical skills at a position, but cant really make up your mind who to start. Shou would be my man who would get inside their heads, finding out the one with the attitude, aptitude, confidence, vision and the team spirit to be able to get the best out of them, and find that starter.

To summarise, Shou would be the guy on my team that thinks outside the box, using those psychological analytical skills in leaving no stone unturned in our search for excellence. Shou will be my DC

This is so difficult.

I'm gonna have to go with the sure fire homerun on this pick. There were more than a dozen strong candidates as finalists for this pick. One stands tall amongst the rest.

The People That Matter of Gotham select

CrunchTime - RB - Georgetown Institute of Football (GIF)
Administrator



We're continuing to lay the foundation of people that matter. Adding another future HOF admin gives this offense a one-two punch that can, and will, be envied. CrunchTime is dedicated to the game. His extensive film study and his ability to find patterns and trends in his game, as well as his opponents', gives us a huge advantage in the backfield. As the first RB taken, he has plenty to live up to. But for those who know CT, there's no doubt he will work tirelessly until he reaches the top.


A note to my next pick: I wanted to take you here, but you can't read, so I figured I had to go with a stronger candidate. See you in the next round :D

NFL Comparison: Emmitt Smith and Marshall Faulk combined

When a day like this comes, and you are drafting the best of the best......some choose locks, some choose head scratchers.....but its all in the eye of the be-holder....

The Sick Faulkers already have their Quaterback of the future drafted and signed....DrAstroZoom will be a delight to watch throw passes and scramble around the pocket....

We are already in the planning stages of a ton of "wheel" routes for him to run....

But who will he throw to? Who will burn down the sidelines and catch passes?! By god the SickFaulkers need a reciever...

This reciever attracts balls like a hooker at midnight.....

footballs....that is.....

This guy is creative, runs great routes, and is honestly, surprising he hasnt been picked up yet, i and the owners had a meeting with this fellow and he is a blue chip person and player...

He catches passes better than bubble boy would catch a cold...

when he enters a room everyone flocks to him like seagulls to a land fill....just as when he posts threads he has over 30 pages of replies faster than you can say "refresh this page please"

The Sick Faulkers is proud to announce its first pick in the 2nd round...Wide Reciever from the "U".....the one.....the ONLY.....

THE

MOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With the next selection, the Niagara Falls Angry Beavers has selected...

KB21, DC, University of Mississippi

After the addition of a franchise quarterback, the Angry Beavers set out to bring in a guy would could create a gameplan defensively to win us the ball game. KB graduated from the University of Mississippi with a Ph.D in Medical Science. KB21 is very knowledgeable with football in general and is easily one of the top minds on ThePhins.com. With his quick wit, extreme confidence, great organization, and endless knowledge, the Angry Beavers have a defensive coordinator that could make any offensive crap their pants...

While KB21 has just recently gotten married, he now has something to take out his aggression with defensive gameplanning to take out all quarterbacks and running backs. The Angry Beaver warns you, when KB21's wife drops $500 on his credit card, someone will probably wind up with a broken leg. With the two other draft gurus going in round one, it's unknown how KB21 slipped so far. The Angry Beavers will not let him slip any further as he is now Beaver... But not just a Beaver... An Angry Beaver!

Coach GridIronKing34 has went on to say, "Don't ask me why this guy fell so far. He's extremely knowledgeable of the game and plays to win. He has the fire in his eyes to win the football game so I think quarterbacks should be aware that their job just got a little tougher."

Having the last pick of the second round is actually rather daunting, and fora number of reasons.. First off, I had the pick of whomever I wanted in the first round so I didn't actually have to pay attention to anyone or anything. Secondarily, the first pick was such a homerun, that it will be hard to get as much value from the second pick.

But somehow, I have...

Because with the last pick of the second round, Samphin's NorCal Whoop Tooshies select:

fin-atic, Kicker/Punter, Finheaven State

Quite frankly,I am shocked that he is still available. Now, this may be a controversial pick. Afterall, who takes a kicker/punter in the second round right? But think about this. Everyone else has taken quarterbacks and other skill positions. But NOBODY has taken a kicker yet! Which means I get to pick the best one on the market! Genius right! Right?

And fin-atic is clearly the best kicker/punter out there. Anyone who has been around these parts over the past 3-5 months knows how good fin-atic is with his. The guy has booted more people from his site than Charlie Sheen has had hookers.

Oh, whoops, Sick already made a hooker joke...

Anyhow, due to him kicking Muck, Celtkin, Boik, Fin Fan in Cali, and even myself, his leg is uber strong and ready to play right here and now. Besides, with his own site barely holding on, I have the advantage of signing him on the cheap out of desperation.

And with that, Samphin is on the clock.

Having already won the first two rounds of this draft handidly (I still haven't a clue just what in the hell alen is doing with his draft other than a Jets impression...), I feel that I can kind of sit back and fulfill some needs for the next couple of rounds.

I mean, I already have the winning formula of myself at DE and fin-atic at kicker. And by far, those are the wo most important positions to have filled. So with the TV show "Blossom" blaring in the background (Jenna Von Oy...yummy), the NorCal Whoop Tooshies select:

azfinfanmang, FB, Whatsamadda U.

A lot of thought went into this pick, but the bottom line is, he scares me. A lot. I get the feeling that once you get a few cold brews in this man, he turns into King Kong after he stubbed his toe. Heck, the guy idolizes Larry Csonka for crying out loud. Who is Larry Csonka you say? Only the second best color commentator in American Gladiators history! That's who!

Originally I was planning on drafting az as a scatback, but when I approached him with that idea he got a weird look on his face and backed away claiming he was just "curious" and "not really into that sort of thing." I think he misunderstood. But after thinking about it and factoring in the power of drunktitude this man has, something tells me he can pack on the needed weight to blow guys up on the line.

Plus, an added bonus? He is only like 12 so he can be a franchise guy for 30 years!

Extra Super Dee Duper Bonus: He is also known as Lobohobo, Lobofin39 and others. So really, it is like getting four players for the price of one!

Welcome to the team you son of a B-O-T-E!

Some other loser is on the clock.

Edited to get his name right!

With the next selection, the Niagara Falls Angry Beavers select....

unluckyluciano, LB, University of New Mexico

unluckyluciano is a loud, arrogant, linebacker out of University of New Mexico that draws comparisons to Joey Porter and Ray Lewis. With the addition of a new defensive coordinator in KB21, the Angry Beavers needed a guy that KB21 could revolve his defense around. This man is a great fit for the smash mouth, blitz on you all night, kill the quarterback defense that the Angry Beavers look to run. When you think of trash talk, you think of unluckyluciano. He'll be in your quarterback's face all day and he'll make damn sure he knows it. Beware, if you don't like hearing words that weren't meant for church, then don't even take the field with lucky on it.

unluckyluciano is a gym rat who is known for his bench press, squat, and deadlift routine. His legs are as strong as an ox, meaning no offensive linemen can take him on one on one. When asked why he preaches about the deadlift more than any other lift, lucky replied, "Because it's something Samphin ignores and look at his leg strength.." With the advice of new defensive coordinator and trainer, KB21, unluckyluciano will be meaner, stronger, and more intense for the Angry Beavers. Quarterbacks beware, he may be 5'4", but when he sneaks under the legs of your linemen... he'll take you down, then probably bite you.. twice.

Coach GridIronKing34 went on to say, "We needed a guy on our defense that would be our leader. unluckyluciano is that guy without a doubt. He's strong, he's mean, and he'll let you know that he's better than you. This is a guy who was able to out-run, out-swim, out-muscle, and out-maneuver the border control. If you think he won't do the same for the Angry Beavers, you're sadly mistaken..."

Welcome to the team lucky... I almost forgot, here's your new uniform!

::Scene::

Head Coach of the Palm Beach Sick Faulkers walks into the front of the room for his press conference to announce the 3rd overall.....3rd round pick....he sits down infront of a microphone with a room full of press, snapping pictures and asking questions....

::790 the ticket reporter::
Sick....why no press conference for the 1st and 2nd picks? But for the 3rd rounder?

::SFF33::
....................i didnt think of it, till now.....

::Miami Herald Reporter::
Sick Fin Fan......you have gone with a QB and a WR with your first 2 picks, where are you going now?

::SFF33::
Well that would cut this damn presser short if i told you that already dontcha think? NEXT

::Palm Beach Post Reporter::
What do you think about the last few picks?

::SFF33::
Well, the kicker pick was laughable....the fullback pick of azfinfan was nice, i like that kid, he was on my board, i guess samphin isnt on crack like i thought.....

::PBPReporter::
And lucky?

::SFF33::
I thought mexicans played futbol........

::MHReporter::
Sick, you havent touched your defense yet, whats the hold up?

::SFF33::
My scouting department is on the case a-hole, our last 2 picks were tops of our boards.....now our third pick is as well......glad this guys still around, hes a real badass

::SunSentinel::
Mr. FinFan33.........

::SFF33::
no one reads the sun sentinel douche bag.....go cover dania JAI ALAI......alright time to get on with it, this next pick really defines us as a team, everyone knows this guy....hes a badass, he can move things whenever he wants, and honestly......he looks like a brown bear just sniffed some coke and went on a rape and murder rampage when he wakes up in the morning, and thats a perfect LOOK for a left tackle in this league.....

I want someone that will rip a defensive ends right arm off and use it as a back scratcher, i want a left tackle that will upper cut a ref in the taint if he makes a crap call.....and i want a left tackle that will protect my star quaterback!!!!!

So with the 3rd pick in the 3rd round......the Sick Faulkers select, out of the university of indiana...Left Tackle.....enforcerfin33 !!!!!!!!!

::Scene::
The room gets rowdy, as questions fly to the coach.....

::SFF33::
Calm the hell down!!!!! relax.....enforcer is just that....an ENFORCER for this team, and will be for years to come, i have shared a room with this guy, and let me tell you...i would have rather slept in a bell tower all night.....his snores rock the ricter scale like a LSU football game.....so imagine the force behind this mans blocks....he dominates people.....he smothers people like cream cheese on a bagel....he will stomp on defensive players like they are capri sun packages!!!!!

Ladies and gentleman.....a new era is upon us!!!! With DrAstroZoom runnin the offense with MOR catching passes and enforcer dropping people faster than lucky dropping a call from one of his baby mamas asking for child support......this team IS.....THEPHINS.COM!!!!!!

Griddles!!! How dare you!!!?

Lucky, you were going to be my shutdown corner. Both of them!!!

Well, now I'm forced to implement 'Operation WTF'. Anyone familiar with the 2008 GM league Draft, will know that MajPain (BuckeyeKing) got raped by the preceding drafter more than his fair share of times.

Now is your time MAJ. This is where you shine. In honor of your suffering...

The People That Matter of Gotham select...

BuckeyeKing - WR - The Ohio State University
Is MajPain

It only seems fitting that The People That Matter would select a WR from the only University to produce WRs that matter. BuckeyeKing will serve as the #1 receiver. He is no primadonna. There will be no media disputes or whining of any kind. Muck is looking forward to meeting with BuckeyeKing.

For this offense, dominance will not be an issue.

P.S. I'm not dead.

This is a guy who most of you know well, but I have only recently got to know him a little better. A true leader, on and off the field, he is equally as good at playing several positions. In his first season as a Cane he backed up at QB, but it was in the offseason he made the transition to WR, and then to CB, where he will be starting for the Misfitz.

Built like a FB, but as fast as a cheetah, I am proud to anounce that with the Misfitz 3rd pick, we select Devin Ginn. Sorry I mean,

"Gimme the damn ball" MINDWARP

Top Quarterback prospect, a superstar waiting to happen, a defense's nightmare....

This guy is very well known around the boards as "The Playbook". He is very intelligent and is a superstar waiting to happen in the TPL. Possesses great smarts to go with amazing accuracy and arm power. He is a franchise QB that will have a tremendous impact on the team as well as their top tier receiver Aqua. He was a two way player at the U, playing QB and DA MLB(hint hint) positions. He is hailed as a blend of Dan Marino and Peyton Manning.... He is .....

And with the Mexico City Hooligans third round pick.. they select...

PHUNWIN

Glad to have you part of the squad :up:.

With the 7th pick in the 3rd round, Ronnie Brown's Town Selects: NJFinsFan1, LT, from U Crazy. This wide eyed monster at LT stands a hulking 6'0" but with an Orlando Pace like reach and Walter Jones like nimbleness, this mean machine loves to stand in and protect the QB and punish defenders. Want to get him ticked off? Just check him out after a Mets loss! Then the paws really come out and he gets vicious! And the quality of the person speaks for himself....hes adopted Peter Potter, aka Stitches when no one else would. We're excited to have him on board!

With phunwin off the board and the team in need of offense, Ricky Williams' Secret SoCal Stash selects In_Flames, TE, from Richmond, Virginia. Playing TE is like making fine art and In_Flames is the best in the game there. You need to show style as a receiver and have substance as a blocker. In_Flames has all of that. And he has the rage you like to see. On that note, as for the inquiries on whether we would use him to remove other team's sigs, no comment. Moving on, we expect him to be a very dynamic weapon on this roster and a key guy for our offense.