Okay, so yesterday (Dec. 18) was the eight year anniversary of when my girl and I started dating. So naturally, we got our groove on and I was awesome as usual (thats what it means when she rolls her eyes, checks her watch and pays the bills while doing it right?).

Well, afterwards, I was laying in the bed naked (I'll let you digest that and get a nice mental image...), and trying to bundle up in the covers since it was about -2 degrees in our house. We happen to have the hotel style blankets. The felt type blankets that generate A LOT of static electricty (the picture starts to form now doesn't it?) and this time was no different. When I went to adjust the covers and pull them up to my chin, I happen to still be, uhm..."at full attention." As I pulled the covers up, a flash of light shot out as a tiny lightning bolt came down from the blanket and right into my still lively junk.

As if that wasn't enough, my body acted as a conductor of sorts because, I kid you not, a split second later the electricity shot right out of my butt into the bed.

It didn't hurt, and at first, I thought I might have superpowers, but it turns out it was just science. But needless to say, Mrs. Samphin witnessed the entire episode and just about broke a kidney laughing so hard. She then dubbed me "Lightning Rod," which is pretty creative for being so late in the night, flustered from my love making skillz (with a Z) and dealing with a cynical S.O.B. like me.

Anyhow, I told some friends today, and after they got done blowing snot bubbles and giggling like immature pre-pubescant boys, the offered up some alternatives. I decided to leave it up to you folks to vote on the options or offer up an alternative.

A: Lightning Rod. Dubbed by Lady Samphin in a state of glorious satisfaction and exhaustion. Pretty funny and suggestive enough to make her friends look at me differently once it is thrown out there.

B: Electric Eel. Suggested by a co-worker after telling him the story and the song of the same name (by MGMT) came on the radio on the way to the office this morning. Animal names for your privates are usually a no-no in my opinion, but this seems appropriate.

C: Buzz LightREAR. Suggested by our H.R. lady after telling her the story but before she wrote me up for sexual harrassment. A nice takeoff of a famous character which is bueno. But having the emphasis on the butt part may make people think it is a nickname having to do with farting (which I am open too).

D: Light Saber. An option provided by a friend of mine's brother that is really into Star Wars to the point where his groomsmen at his wedding carried them during the ceremony. Suggestive, but somewhat cliched and probably doesn't do much in adding interest to people wanting to hear the story.

So those are the options. Please vote on one of them, or offer up an alternate suggestion to compete.

Thank you in advance.

Samphin

Mods, Please add poll.

 

I am not sure if I ever told it on here. I must have told it when I was in New Jersey with the guys.

So out here in California, we have a supermarket chain called "Safeway." When you go through the line, they hand you your receipt and say "Thank you Mr./Mrs. Last Name here."

My last name is MARCOUX, pronounced: mar-COO. It is usually botched due to the x in my name. MarCOX, MarCOOX, MarCOWTH, etc., etc.

Well, one day, I was in a hurry and visibly frustrated with the slow service. So, as the hand me my receipt I grab and and start to walk away when I hear, "Thank you Mr. MANGOO."

I stopped in my tracks, turned around and walked back to the register."What did you call me?" "Mr. Mangoo?" she said again.

"Mr. MAN-GOO? That has got to be the dirtiest name ever," I replied. "Tell me, how did you get an n and a g sound out of that?"

If I hadn't been in a hurry, I probably would have berated her in front of her co-workers, but I had to leave.

 

Bic Lighter is hilarious...but kind of degrading to my man parts...

And now that I said that, I am sure the rest of you yahoos will stuff the ballot box...

 

Thats a lousy nickname...:tongue2:

 

A vote for that is a WASTED vote. The point is to pick a NEW nickname, in addition to Mangoo. Mangoo is already set as a name.

 

I think it is multiple choice...

 

You can leave it. :hi5: It allows meto know who can comprehend properly. :shifty:

Its all good. :yes:

 

Sorry, I should have named myself after a wall instead...:pity:

And their won't be a name change on the site, just what I go by in real life. And Samphin is effin' classic. I have been a member of the finheaven/thephins message boards since 2002. I can't help it if I am a trendsetter. :tantrum:

Who knew a few paragraphs was mission impossible?

 

Exactly. I am glad I am not a Giants fan...

 

There really is no need to continue this thread. Finnatic just hit a game winning shot in the bottom of the ninth. :up:

 

Do I dare change my beloved avatar?