SO bad, I just HAVE to watch it!

Pagan · Mar 12, 2010

Oh it's as good as TIVOed! :lol:

Tomorrow night, Roger Corman, the man responsible for such classic schlock shockers as "Attack of the Crab Monsters" and "Little Shop of Horrors," is wreaking bloody havoc with a movie so fantastically bad, it makes his 1956 babe-alicious "She Gods of Shark Reef" look like "Citizen Kane."

And I loved every minute of it.

"Dinoshark" is a killing machine that's half shark, half dinosaur and must have cost half a buck to make.

This prehistoric monster came back to life after a piece of a giant glacier broke off in Antarctica, unleashing a prehistoric predator which had been frozen for all those millennia.

Dinoshark thawed and came to life and then, like Jimmy Buffet heeding the call of the Margarita, sailed down to a "lush Mexican vacation spot."

Also arriving conveniently at said lush vacation spot is Cap'n Trace McGraw (Eric Balfour -- I swear it's really him).

Trace had been at sea for a few years before he decided to head back to his childhood-paradise home. There, he reunites with all his old pals who say things like, "This place has a certain wow factor!" and "Viva la fiesta!"

It's no wonder he left -- it's a lush vacation spot populated entirely by horrible actors.

Within minutes of downing his first tequila, he meets the bikini-wearing marine biologist Carol (Iva Hasperger), and reunites with another barely-clad old friend, who then gets eaten by Dinoshark -- somehow leaving her big boobs intact on her half-eaten torso.

No one believes Trace that this monster is bigger than a regular man-eating shark, so he enlists the aid of Carol.

After four minutes of exhaustive research, she finds a picture of Dinoshark, which causes her to rip off her blouse to reveal her lacy black bra.

Carol runs to a terrible party a few doors down where the world's only expert in the Dinoshark (played by Corman himself) happens to be enjoying a Margarita. Talk about luck!

Meantime, the monster goes on an eating binge, dining mostly on babes--although he does eat the head off a parasailing man by jumping out of the water.

Shamelessly stealing the plot, dialogue and even foreboding music from "Jaws," this is "B" at its absolute best -- or should that be worst?

Eighty-four-year-old Corman ain't done yet.

Up next for the SyFy channel? "Sharktopus" (with Eric Roberts), followed by "Dinocroc vs Supergator."

I'm so there.
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m ino · Mar 12, 2010

wow!no betty white,lou diamond phillips or hillary swank?? i'm in! good mst3k stuff right here.

Pagan Metal & a Mustang

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