As a fellow Dolfan blissfully married and with the same woman for 29 years, let me tell you the secret to draft watching success.
#1 - You have to choose your battles. Knowing which battles to fight and which to give in is the key to draft watching success. Take out the garbage, make dinner, listen to her rants, give her a hug, and pay the bills. Then find a few more items she cares about that you don't give a rats azz about and do that too. Why? Because two things my friend matter to you. Watching the Dolphins without being bugged and watching the freaking draft without being nagged, interupted, or in any way distracted! Also, it would be nice if during this sacred day if she would occasionally refill your drink of choice and feed you. Preferably BBQ.
#2 - Every man on earth has a God given right to watch the entire draft. In fact, I think every holy book on the planet has a verse that backs that up. Stand firm in your faith in believing that you have this right, and resolve within yourself that you will not be denied. A nice way to get some buy in on this is to also announce that you will be denying yourself sex during this holy day (Something most wives will be more than happy about) as obstaining may put a positive karma spin on the Dolphins selection, and secure the fact that the Jets will bust once again.
#3 - If all else fails in your draft watching efforts, simply pretend to be sick and lay on the couch with a cold rag on your head (not over the eyes unless she is in the room as the rag may block Draft viewing efforts) and get a blanket too, even if it's not cold it's a nice touch on the "I'm too sick to do honey - doo's" look. Occasionally grunt or moan to sound uncomfortable, which should be relatively easy when the guys you wanted in Miami get drafted elsewhere.
Good Luck in your draft watching efforts, we'll be thinking of you!
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His'nBeatYour'n, Xeticus, Kucha and 43 others like this.
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DOLPHAN1 Premium Member Luxury Box
#3a. Keep all your draft material in the bathroom. Occasionally make a mad dash to said bathroom as if you really need to go. Again, a few grunts and groans to keep the illusion alive....:yes:MrClean, sking29, DOLFANMIKE and 4 others like this. -
:up:
You indeed did hit the nail on the head Mike. Thankfully, I have a husband who worships the ground I walk on. :yes: He not only encourages me to go the Sports Zone for the draft, but schleps me there every Sunday morning at 8, goes home and does the laundry, watches the girls, feeds them and him (yes, it's Chinese, but at least they get fed while I'm gone) and then comes back to get me when I call him that I'm ready to leave. I got a good egg!
As does every woman! :lol:PhinsFanWife, femalefinfan, baboo72 and 12 others like this. -
yeah I'm ****ed for life ...I got married on 4/24
I wasn't thinking :(GISH, dolfan32323, Agua and 1 other person like this. -
My wife know's better than to ask me to miss Dolphin related stuff.
She figured that out years ago, before directv when her cousin got married and the Fins were playing the Bills on channel 4. I snuck my portable pocket TV into the wedding and reception. She was pissed, but her cousin who got married was a Bills fan and ended sitting with me a majority of the reception. Since than my wife does not even bother asking to do something on draft or Dolphin game days.FinSane, Drowning, dolfan32323 and 3 others like this. -
I made sure that my girlfriend understands that the NFL draft is the most important day of the year. More important than Christmas or my own birthday. I like to make the analogy that the draft is like a shopping spree for the teams and the Dolphins get to pick out new players. She eats that up.
BrazForPhins, GISH and GARDENHEAD like this. -
Thanks for posting this thread Mike. I needed a good laugh. Don't get me wrong though, as your advice definitely hits close to home (for me). I too have been imprisoned, er, um...I mean married for a long, long time.
At any rate, I intend to employ your strategy. At least parts of it. I'll be sure to let you know how it works.
Good luck to not only to The Dolphins on draft day, but also to all the married guys (and gals Ms. First Lady ;))!DOLFANMIKE and njfinfan like this. -
You just Marry the women who will watch the draft with you!
femalefinfan and AllianceCollect like this. -
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The Original Post is genius! But the "shopping" analogy is pure genius. You gotta put things into terms others can digest. Wow. Kudos to you, Roddy.
I'm glad my wife isn't into football (or any sports, for that matter). I love her and I love spending time with her, but I got to have my time, and she respects that. Its like fishing. Nobody brings their wife when they go fishing.
To be fair, the only time I feel pressed not to watch sports is during the NBA playoffs and the NFL playoffs (when Miami is not involved). Its hard to justify spending the entire weekend watching games that don't involve the Dolphins.the 23rd, Agua, njfinfan and 1 other person like this. -
If its a draft you MUST watch, the sick strategy is 100% sure to work. Start in after dinner on Friday that you are going to bed early because you don't feel well. :wink2:
Then when you wake up on Saturday, go in the restroom put some water in your mouth, then a few minutes later act like you are puking in the toilet. Then get a wet rag and blanket and go lay on the couch.
You will be left alone for 2 days for sure.
D-Mike / aka The Draft DR.
PS - This sure fire strategy can only work so much, so use it wisely. -
Greatest thread ever Mike! Last year I sent my wife to Texas to visit her daughter, this year she went again......but too early! WTF was I thinking? I'm kind of screwed this draft, I have my wife at home, family in from Pennsylvania, jeezum crow! I think I need to just quietly disappear Friday night, stay in a Motel over the weekend, then re-appear Sunday evening, disheveled and filthy, with a story that I was 'set upon by vagabonds'.
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You can always be called in to a business meeting out in So Cal and spend the weekend with the DolfanMcGuire's....
Always lots of food and a nice 52 inch HD TV:up:njfinfan and opfinistic like this. -
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Dude, my coworker wants to know why I am laughing hysterically right now. If only he could appreciate it. LMAO... :pointlol:
I'll tell ya one more thing. Whether or not I use feigning sick for the draft this Saturday, I will most definitely keep it mind the next time she's trying to drag me off to one of her in-law or church functions that I'd rather be tarred and feathered than attend. That water trick of yours in and of itself is frickin' brilliant! :up: -
i married a woman that works on the weekends and took a job that gives me off on the weekends so i covered both bases(the draft and the sunday games)in one fail swoop..even married her on the day the hall of fame game is(usually don't watch it unless the phins are playing)to help me remember the anni better.
opfinistic likes this. -
x2..
My wife is a nurse and she works a weekend option set of shifts.
She works 7p - 7a Friday and Saturday. So it works out really well.
She comes home in the morning tired and ready to sleep through the day. -
Best Way to enjoy watching the draft or games....
Do as I did and marry a woman who is just as big, perhaps even a bigger football fan then I am!! Oh yeah, I am very lucky that in my house football season is like a holiday to be observed. Even during the off season, on Sunday mornings, we will ONLY have our morning coffee in our respective team mugs. During the regular season, we will NEVER make plans on Sundays. (OK there have been times when we haven't had a choice due to family things, but we are never happy about it.) We get up in the morning, flip between the pregame shows, then watch the games starting at 10am, through the Sunday night game, then of course the highlights if our teams did well, practically until we fall asleep. Hard to watch highlights if we lose!
Oh yes!! nothing better then to be in love with a woman who on one of the first times we got together made plans to take me to the Hall Of Fame in Canton!!PhinsFanWife, femalefinfan, Drowning and 6 others like this. -
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Two other options are available.
1. Give your wife a credit card or cash and tell her she needs some new clothes and then act like you are going to work in the yard. You wont see her again until after dark. She might be happy enough when she returns to bring you a drink and something to eat if the draft is still on TV.
2. The next option is the last resort option. Pick a fight (verbal of course) with her over something petty. Make her mad and you wont see her again until she cools down or when you go and apologize to her and tell her she was right. An added touch is to have some flowers (roses work best) hidden to to give to her to impress how sorry you are.
Boy , the guys who are married to a woman who likes football and actually enjoys the draft are lucky men.DOLPHAN1, opfinistic and njfinfan like this. -
She lets me watch it but she'll have me running back and forth while watching it. She'll have me do the laundry or vacuum the living room (I watch the draft in my room) or she'll make me take the dishes out of the washer. Then it could be even worse if my dad has to deliver furniture locally and install it in peoples homes because I go with him. I don't want to do it because I still want to get a couple CFB games to watch before the draft in the morning but if it does come up, I hope like hell its in the morning and not in the afternoon. I do too many dam things around here. :pity:njfinfan likes this.
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A hotel room and the draft work together like pb and j baby, the solace is everything, i did it last year in detroit and did not leave my room til monday morning, boght my food and beer on friday nite...best weekend of my life..late again and opfinistic like this.
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We have that one covered too.
Lay UNDER the couch cushions, not on top of them.opfinistic and njfinfan like this. -
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#2 is an excellent option. If you just can't figure out what to start the fight over, pick the last few times she rejected you for intimacy. That's a sure fire way to getum pissed off in a hurry.Onehondo likes this.
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The draft starts later this year. Go to her the night before and say Mom, I want to watch the entire draft this weekend, so could you give me my chores ahead of time so I can do them BEFORE the draft starts.
She will love you for thinking of her needs first and wanting to be mature and get things done before relaxing. -
Here is another option may or may not work it depends. Get together with a close friend who is also a dolfan, have him call you a week or two before the draft, and on the phone he is asking you to help him move some heavy objects in the house or garage. Promptly tell your wife at least one week in advance and tell her you wrote it on the calendar not to make plans. Now proceed to friends house on draft day lift heavy object(remote,beer,chips,wings) and enjoy a peace ful day of the draft. Ps kill you cell battery strength before leaving and when you return home just say you forgot to charge it.
njfinfan likes this. -
C'mon, coach, gameplan and execute! Wear her out so thoroughly that she is happy all weekend and will let you do what you want.njfinfan and DOLFANMIKE like this. -
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Brilliant!
Just asked about it. She said it sounds good and if my dad has to do a delivery, she'll do it this time - I go every time for her so she can chill at home but this time, she's covering for me. :up:anlgp, GISH, DOLPHAN1 and 1 other person like this. -
Yeah, but honestly, it is soooo long between picks, that you have time to do little crap like take garbage out, and depending upon size, cut the yard, or BBQ some food (with some help, of course).
padre31 and DOLFANMIKE like this. -
Hilarious!
My in-laws will be in town so I will try to use that to my advantage. "Honey, why don't you and your Mom take the girls shopping so your Dad and I can bond?" As long as there isn't a Nascar race this weekend I'm golden.njfinfan likes this. -
you might be right.
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