So I figured I'd turn to one the websites that I read and frequent daily. I know I don't post much on these forums but I know there are a lot of good people on here and that I should be able to get some advice on how to proceed with this.
So here's my situation. I've got a friend that I consider to by my best friend. I've know him my entire childhood and I'm now 33 years old, so its been quite some time. Now my friend is well known on these boards(hoping maybe he reads this and CALLS ME or something) and I guess I don't know where else to turn to.
Normally he is pretty bad about getting back to someone when they text or call, but I just have always chalked it up to him being super busy with work. I've haven't spoken to him since prolly early April. In the last few weeks I've really attempted to try to get in touch with him, but texting, calling, posting on his wall on facebook, and sent him a PM on this website, even called his mom and I have heard nothing in return. I don't know if I did something to piss him off either, last time we talked it was our normal sports convo and I hadn't heard anything from him really since then.
So I guess what I'm asking is should I just throw away over 25 years worth of friendship and delete his phone number, delete him off Facebook and just not bother trying to contact him again or Should I continue trying to at least get an answer from him on what is going on. Any advice would be much appreciated.
So what should I do??
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Delete phone number, facebook and so on
2 vote(s)40.0% -
Continue to try and contact him to get an answer at least.
3 vote(s)60.0%
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That's a long time being friends. You reached out, I wouldn't beg for his attention.
You did what you need to. Now wait. If he finally gets in touch with you, call him out on this episode. If he doesn't, then you know where your friendship lies.
I wouldn't delete his Facebook and number, that's middle school stuff. Just wait him out.
Good luck.gunn34, finattic79, MonstBlitz and 2 others like this. -
I'd wait it out....he might be going through something. If he doesn't want to be friends I'm sure he will let you know. If he keeps avoiding you I'd maybe send a message that says something like:
"Hey we're both grown men and I've known you forever. If you don't want to be friends anymore just let me know."gunn34 and finattic79 like this. -
Cool thanks for the advice, @Sick ya I didn't want to come across as middle schoolish, which it does after re reading it, i just wanted it to come across as should I just forget just forget all his info. Guess I'll just wait it out and let him contact me if he wants to.
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What Sick said. It happens. Friends drift apart. Some people get weird and anti-social as they age. I've had close friends drift apart no matter how hard I tried to keep in touch. Don't take it personally, move on and don't lose sleep over it. If your friend is going through something, hopefully he'll get back in touch when it's over. And no need whatsoever to delete everything. Unless there's more to this relationship than you're letting on... [Seinfeld]Not that there's anything wrong with that...[/Seinfeld]
finattic79 likes this. -
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See the difference between girls and dudes is girls do stuff like delete the person from facebook. Guys get a call one day from a friend they havent heard from in forever and grab a beer. The guy might be going through some stuff personally hes ashamed to talk about. He might be going through some stuff workwise good or bad taht hes afraid to talk about. Might be in a relationship hes just whipped on. Could be a lot of stuff. Let it ride out and see what happens. Dont give ultimatums though. He may have a reason hes not ready to deal with right now. I wouldnt do either of the poll choices....just leave things as they are.
Fin-Omenal, Paul 13, finattic79 and 1 other person like this. -
Send him flowers & chocolates. Supposedly works when Boik's guys don't call him back. :shifty:Fin-Omenal, Paul 13 and finattic79 like this.
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Again, thanks for everyone for the advice yall have provided. I guess the one thing that is really bothering me is that I just wished he could take the 1-2 minutes out of a day that a reply would take. Hell a quick text reply would take all of 5 secs. I think that after 25 yrs he could at least do that. Guess like most have suggested, I'll just wait it out and if he calls he calls, if not then I guess our friendship is over.
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so what I've learned on this thread is to delete boik off my fb so that I can get free chocolates and flowers.
ToddPhin, Fin-Omenal and Fin D like this. -
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So back to this again, I'm like totally confused. I accepted a job in Juneau, Alaska and will be heading next week. I tried to get in touch of him as soon as I found out I was moving about 2 weeks ago. Haven't heard anything from him at all. I visited with his parents as well cause I'm still close with them as well. His mom mentioned that she asked if he had talked to me and he said he was a bit busy and just kept forgetting and there wasn't anything going on.
Guess I'm just really confused again lol. I mean if your supposed best friend for most of your life packs up from Florida and moves to Alaska, you'd think if you considered him a friend you'd want to hang out once or twice before they leave... -
I would if I could, but its a 3 hour drive up there.
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shula_guy Well-Known Member
I can understand if you do not have transportation but if its just because its 3hrs away thats a lame excuse. You been friends for 25yrs and he stops contact with you without any explination. Your getting ready to move to Alaska and he knows your trying to get ahold of him. Theres something wrong. Either he wants to end your friendship and isnt man enough to tell you that or he is in a dark place dealing with stuff. He may need your help more now then ever and if not by the sounds of things you need closure from him. I would go find out what the hell is going on with him. A 3hr car ride would not stop me from doing that. -
Sucks but the value of your friendship appears very one sided.
Your starting a new life in Alaska, put it behind you and embrace your online bros here at The Phins.:up:gunn34 likes this. -
Yep that's pretty much what I've done. He obviously cares more about some of his new friends that he has made and not one that has been around whenever he needed me. I made it to Alaska yesterday and the way he's completely ignored more, he's dead to me. I hope he reads this cause he owns this site and he sees that I don't give a crap anymore.
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Thanks Gunn, I'm not dwelling on it anymore. Already enjoying Alaska a ton. UFC fights this Saturday plus a trip to glacier before the fights, can't wait. I'll definitely being trying to win over some converts to the dolphins side :-).gunn34 likes this.