Having problems.

Rough times Bro.

sorry to hear this bro. You aren't alone though. Feel free to contact me here and I can send you my email, etc if you need to talk.

Keep your head up man.....dig down deep and make something even better happen.

You could go to the mafia and get a job as a hitman and have someone order a hit on your ex.

You get paid, bitch gets shot. Two birds, one stone, and all that.

I'm really just kidding, but it would be a good way to solve both problems at once if there were no moral issues.

note: the phins nor I do not condone killing. I do condone making a joke out the most extreme situations because, hey, we're all going to die anyway. May as well laugh at it if you can.

You could PM me if you need to but I'm going to be honest with you and tell you I'm going through **** of my own. I'm a great listener, and advice giver, but I've got a lot on my plate right now. If you feel suicidal or like things are way too rough though.. PM me. There are other great people here, like padre/lucky/JS, that may also be able to help.

Really starting to NOT care anymore. About anything.

"Merauder wrote:

Hi....I don't know many people on this site but my life has been one thing after the other for as long as I can remember. I was just notified on Friday that I'm being scaled out of the organization that I started working for 6 months ago in about a month. I just signed a 12 month lease and now have to scramble to find a replacement job. I also was just notified by the person I love that she is seeing some recently divorced middle aged guy (she's 27). She is my ex but we were still on talking terms and we were seriously talking about getting back together. I feel betrayed right now. It just seems like every part of my life is falling apart. I wasn't doing well before these two things happened, and this is just the cherry on top. I seriously haven't felt this alone in my entire life.

Hey man, sorry to hear youre going through a tough time. Ive been unemployed before and I understand what its like. You feel useless at times because you arent working. And when a girl you love hurts you, youre going to feel certain things: betrayal, probably some anger, you'll feel like you wasted time with her. There isnt much you can do about it. When you create a relationship with someone youre investing things that arent tangible like time and effort and simply cant be recovered. But dude, youre 33. Your still young. Look at the bright side and think about this...what if you married the girl and 30 years later she dumped you. That would hurt a lot more. (sorry to rehash memories if anyone went through that)

The good news: You will now have to research careers and maybe land yourself in a better situation doing something that you may even like more. If your ex decided to go in a different direction, much like with the company there isnt much you can really do except fight to earn her back if thats what you really want. Much like I told anglp earlier today, theres no point in worrying about stuff you cant control. Thats a useless battle and you cant control people's feelings towards you or a company's direction. Its not going to be easy but nothing worth fighting for in life ever is.

Whatever you do, dont ever give up. Always feel free to PM or hit me up on aim. :wink2:

"Merauder wrote:

Really starting to NOT care anymore. About anything.

Dude just relax, and take a deep breathe bro, step back and think, what everything about, where is it all going, and why did it happen...EVERYTHING happens for a reason my friend, and when sheet hits the fan, all that means is when u wade out of it, you be that much stronger and wiser....Without struggle there is no life.....Reach out to people close to you, PM me, do what you need to get to that light...

You wanna break your rought times, break what you are doing these days, start by doing something you wouldnt normally do on your day off....Something you deem uncomfortable, do it watch your confidence grow as you complete whatever it is you set out to do, that you previous didnt want too....

Fight bro fight...:up:

Hello Merauder...

So seeing your X going her way and loosing your job are two tough cookies for sure... I am sorry to hear that ... but...

things could still be worse, I know it does not seem like it know. You did not get to where you were by sitting around and waiting for things to fall into your lap, did you???

your X was seperated from you for a reason... Even though you still have feelings for her, it takes two to make a relationship and it seems like your partner has not taken her place besides you yet...

Jobs, that is the toughest of the two issues you are going through IMO... I might be carazy to say that in todays economy it is harder to find a decent job than find a mate...

Things will get better, stick around your family and friends for comfort and support...

My life is unraveling with every day passing. I appreciate everyone's comments and support. I've never felt this overwhelmed in my life. I'm not going to go down without a fight but I don't see strawberry fields in my future.

"Merauder wrote:

My life is unraveling with every day passing. I appreciate everyone's comments and support. I've never felt this overwhelmed in my life. I'm not going to go down without a fight but I don't see strawberry fields in my future.

You arent supposed to see it in your near future, dude that much eff'ed up stuff happens, it takes time to rebuild....dude come on...you gotta wanna do it, you sound like you dont.....get on it again and ride bro...

Other than searching for work, which is something you can't ignore...... busy yourself with something, anything that will take the focus off of the hard times you're having. Getting your head straight will make this situation much easier to deal with...

Pick yourself up and force yourself to move forward.... you can do it bro, you've made it this far, right?

Football is right around the corner and we've got a lot to be excited for, so there's that......it's summer time and girls wear less clothing, so there's that too;]

Things can and will get worse if you give up........ time heals a lot of things. Just get thru this period the best you can and I'm sure you'll have brighter days ahead.

"Boik14 wrote:

Look at the bright side and think about this...what if you married the girl and 30 years later she dumped you. That would hurt a lot more. (sorry to rehash memories if anyone went through that)

You son of a bitch :lol:

ok not really :D

Linebackers, and any injury to Dansby or Marshall (from the what worries me most conversation yesterday).

Sorry to hear about your luck. Not much I can do to help you, but just remember if it weren't for **** times like you're going through now, we wouldn't appreciate the good times.

It will get better. You'll find another job, and you'll find a much better woman. Don't think about doing something like hurting yourself over a girl. She's not worth it. I know it's cliche, but living well really is the best revenge.

Sorry I am a bit late to the thread. I am at camp with 33 middle school kids until late Friday! Using the common, office computer early in the morning.

You have been dealt a bad hand, there is no denying that. The knowledge that others have also may be somewhat helpful but it is still going to hurt a great deal!

How do you get past it?

Sounds corny but the best answer is one day at a time. Start looking for work, be open about your life, and keep living it. I personally have found the best way to ease through personal problems is to be deeply engaged in life. If you are able try volunteering somewhere, senior center, pet shelter, library, whatever. Not only does it feel good helping others but you meet people who put others first and that is a nice circle to run around in.

Stay active here and if you are a person who is open to religious expression, seek out a community of faith. There again, your focus will be lifted off you directly and you will (hopefully) be around folks who care.

Stay in touch.

Hey bro, its been a few days. Hope things are going better...drop me a pm of you need to talk bro.

I'll echo boik as well.

If you want to immerse yourself in something (I'm just getting out of a 3 year hole myself) I find that Madden really helps me, and you had even started a thread on it. I want to get into coaching next summer and would love to tutor you through building a team.

Even if it's something "insignificant" like a video game it beats a knife or a cliff.

"anlgp wrote:

I'll echo boik as well.

If you want to immerse yourself in something (I'm just getting out of a 3 year hole myself) I find that Madden really helps me, and you had even started a thread on it. I want to get into coaching next summer and would love to tutor you through building a team.

Even if it's something "insignificant" like a video game it beats a knife or a cliff.

What Steve said above is helpful, IMO. (btw, Steve, you get my PM?)

I do similar things to take my mind off of stuff. Basketball, video games, watching tape, research. Research and watching tape does it for me the best. It all sounds cheesy but it works every time. Do something that will occupy your time and it will decrease your stress level. For those who say there's nothing for them out there to do to occupy their time, trust me there is. There are so many things out there you can do. Pick up a new hobby. Pick up on an old hobby.

"alen1 wrote:

What Steve said above is helpful, IMO. (btw, Steve, you get my PM?)

I do similar things to take my mind off of stuff. Basketball, video games, watching tape, research. Research and watching tape does it for me the best. It all sounds cheesy but it works every time. Do something that will occupy your time and it will decrease your stress level. For those who say there's nothing for them out there to do to occupy their time, trust me there is. There are so many things out there you can do. Pick up a new hobby. Pick up on an old hobby.

Yeah I did. I was on a roll and just tried to go based off of previous conversations. I didn't trade back just to trade back and I drafted pretty well. I'll send you a list tomorrow.

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I've been having a hard time finding motivation to do anything these days. I just am really depressed and overwhelmed. I don't feel positive at all about my future. I'm going to be out of work soon with no girlfriend. Oh yeah....I'm an alcoholic too.

"Merauder wrote:

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I've been having a hard time finding motivation to do anything these days. I just am really depressed and overwhelmed. I don't feel positive at all about my future. I'm going to be out of work soon with no girl friend.

It is not surprising given the number of hits you have absored recently. Just stay at it. Stay engaged with life.

"Merauder wrote:

Oh yeah....I'm an alcoholic too.

Still drinking or in recovery?

"Merauder wrote:

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I've been having a hard time finding motivation to do anything these days. I just am really depressed and overwhelmed. I don't feel positive at all about my future. I'm going to be out of work soon with no girlfriend. Oh yeah....I'm an alcoholic too.

Recognizing you're an alcoholic is an important step. As OHFF said, in recovery or otherwise?

If you still have a hold of the bottle (and not the other way 'round) try to put it down for a few weeks and figure out why you feel the need to drink. For me it's because I never feel like I'm doing good enough to others and it's an escape to owning up to my own strength.

I'm still drinking. I don't want to stop either. I know it's killing me, and I'm all for that.

"Merauder wrote:

I'm still drinking. I don't want to stop either. I know it's killing me, and I'm all for that.

I know you didn't ask for my opinion and you've got the right to be pissed about this if you want to be, but as an aspiring psychologist I suggest you look into state healthcare and seek professional help.

I'm in therapy as we speak and it has done wonders for me. If you wanna chew me out go for it, but I'm just looking out for what I believe your best interests are.

The bottle had a hold of me at one point and it was very refreshing to put it down.

Now if only I could stop eating all these damn milkshakes.

"Merauder wrote:

I'm still drinking. I don't want to stop either. I know it's killing me, and I'm all for that.

Conciously it may feel like that but I suppose I have to think that since you are on this site, talking about sharing, maybe, maybe you really do want to live, just live better than you are now.

I again suggest you get some help. Try a 12 step, counseling service, mental health clinic, something. We can reach out here and will do what we can but nothing beats some straight up ftf aid.

I hope you get it, we need all the Phin phans we can keep!