As most of you know, I named my only child (4 year old son) Zachary Thomas Cullen. My great grandfather was a Dolfan, my grandfather, my father and uncle, me and my brothers etc. it was an easy time growing up. I grew up in west palm Florida, live games were local, went to games, sports radio and tv centered around my beloved phins. Jerseys were everywhere in Walmart and sports authority, it was impossible to not carry on my family tradition by watching the phins and being a die hard fan.
Fast forward to 2008. My son is born at Wellington regional hospital in south Florida. My wife and I love his name. I played middle linebacker my entire football career through college. Some say I resemble his looks. 1 minute after he came into this world the nurse said and I quote (swear to god) "look at his wide shoulders, he looks like a linebacker"
It was perfect.
Fast forward to 2012. We moved to Charlotte nc in early 2008, a couple of months after he was born. Now at 4 years old he has his own opinion. His own independence. I have nfl ticket. I watch the dolphins. I have jerseys. A Zachary Thomas fathead stands tall in my sons room. However, cam newtons smile dominates this city. His "superman" celebration trumps a handshake here. My son emulates it. My son gravitates to the giant panther statues that guard the gates of bank of America stadium every time we are near it. He loves the panther growl, the black, silver, powder blue colors. The silver helmet. The mean cat gracing the shiny helmet. At four years old cam newton is really superman and the panthers are all he hears outside of my home. His friends parents have a scowling cat painted on their back window of their cars, on their front license plates. His friends have panther lunch boxes and shirts. He is different. He has orange and aqua lunch boxes and shirts. He wonders why.
So here I am looking for tickets to the dolphins and panthers preseason game for August 17th. Looking for 3 tickets. Taking my son to his first nfl game. His first ever time inside of that stadium. My wife and I state "we are rooting for the dolphins. Who are you rooting for Zachary?"
He shoots back "the pampers" so a matter of factly that I am stunned. I say "but daddy is a dolphins fan. Dolphins are awesome!!!"
Without even blinking he states coldly "yeah well I am rooting for the panthers, and we're going to kick your butt!!!!"
...............kill me. Pull the plug. I'd rather be hit by a garbage truck than hear not only my son rooting for someone else and breaking the tradition, but hearing him TALK **** TO ME ABOUT BEATING MY TEAM.
I am stunned. I am falling backwards, stumbling, gasping for air. So I sit him down. Pull out the laptop. Google "Zachary Thomas" pictures. I show him. I show him ZT highlights. 1972 highlights. Show him Dan Marino highlights all with tears in my eyes. I grind it home to the point where I show him a picture of ZT and ask "who's that?" he answers, "Zachary Thomas"
Awesome.
"who's this??"
"Dan Marino"
Perfect.
"what team do the play for?"
"the dolphins"
YES YES YES
"so Zachary, who's your favorite team?"
........"the pampers"
*gun to head. Pull trigger. BOOM*
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eltos_lightfoot, Gunner, RGF and 24 others like this.
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At least you guys can share an interest in the sport of football.
Sorry... continue the TNT Drama special. :tongue2:SICK likes this. -
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And if David Garrard starts for us this season, then you're **** out of luck.
Bpk and Nappy Roots like this. -
Guess your gonna have to change his name to Cameron Newton Cullen. Could be worse you could live in New York.
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And Chris looks like you have a great first topic for the first show of the season :up:
SICK, Ophinerated and Bpk like this. -
Or tell him he's gonna wear Pampers until he likes the Dolphins and the only toy he's gonna play with are Barbies unless he pledge allegiance to his namesake
SICK likes this. -
The New England Pampers huh? That's rough...
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You need to start classical conditioning him. When he says something good about the Dolphins reward him or pat him on the head like one would a dog. If he mentions the Panthers ignore him or have him sit in a corner or something. The clock is ticking... You have now until the teenager stage to turn this around or you are screwed lol.
SICK, HULKFish and Fin-Omenal like this. -
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so basically you are a horrible, horrible parent. Gotcha. Sorry to hear, you didn't raise your son right.
ToddPhin, SICK, Fin-Omenal and 1 other person like this. -
I'm awaiting his sarcastic comeback, but he's probably pouring a glass of warm milk or chasing kids off his lawn.
Ya know, old people stuff.SICK, slickj101, Ophinerated and 1 other person like this. -
lol..I've been there, its like walking a tightrope, hmmm, this is serious, after all his name is Zach...Tell him that Cam newtons charges people lots of money just to sign a pieces of paper and doesn't share, and dolphin players sign pieces of paper for homeless people, lol...You must pull out all the stops to convert him..
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Either way his hoverround is a little bit dirtier tonight.........ToddPhin, SICK, Ophinerated and 1 other person like this.
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In a couple of years, if this mutany continues, threaten adoption...........
to put him up 4 of courseFin-Omenal, finyank13 and SICK like this. -
May I also suggest putting him in a room alone with an actual panther?
Boik14, Frumundah Finnatic, ToddPhin and 4 others like this. -
probably not a good idea. if you ask him to see what is worse, may I remind you that dolphins are the rapists of the sea.ToddPhin, Frumundah Finnatic and SICK like this.
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doooooooooooooooooode I forgot that dolphin pushed you face down into that kelp bed........ToddPhin, Boik14, SICK and 1 other person like this.
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..... or have Cam Newton try to read him a children's book. :shifty:Fin-Omenal, Boik14, SICK and 1 other person like this.
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Que racisto!!!
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I didn't say he has trouble reading b/c he's black. It's b/c he has big lips. :escape2:Rocky Raccoon likes this.
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Just check your labtops afterwards.
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Wouldnt your nightmare be the kid rooting for the Jets?
SICK, Stitches, Boik14 and 1 other person like this. -
Kid sounds like he is shaping up to be a fantastic NFL fan. Talkin smack at 4 years old? Dang. Just gotta convince him to join the dark side...
SICK likes this. -
I HAD a similar situation with my daughter Taylor's ( yes #99) mom and her dad who are both half *** Bengals fans. To this point she has held strong.
I feel for ya bro but at that age don't underestimate the power of ice cream, and the fact that "Batman used to play for the Dolphins", if he replies ---- u dad I like Superman???? I dunno...I really don't.SICK likes this.
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