I've been married for 12 years now and for the most part I can say I have a pretty wonderful life with my wife and kids. However, there's a serious problem. Without getting into the ridiculous details, our love life ended about seven years ago due to an illness....I'm fine, but my wife is no longer able to have sex...ever. Like in ever ever....and none of that other stuff either.
I'm in my late 30's and try not to let it bother me, but if you're a guy then you know darn well it's a serious issue. I've never cheated on my wife (well, we'll get to that in a minute), never thought about splitting up our family or anything like that...but one night we had a few too many drinks and my wife brought up an arrangement of sorts.
In a half-drunken state she confessed that it had to drive me crazy, and we ended up having a long, drawn out converstaion about it. Basically I told her that, "guys are guys...of course it's a problem," but I also made it fully clear that I was fine abstaining. She then mentioned someone that she worked with that was "not into guys" who wanted to have a baby, so she said the had been thinking about it and it would help everyone involved.
Now, I've seen the gals where she works, and for the life of me I could not think of one that was even halfway good looking. Then again, it had been like seven years....so hey....it was worth a thought. No strings attached, everything up front...and eventually I'd be a dad that would adopt out a child.
Anyway, the next morning I didn't mention it and my wife didn't either, so I thought...oh well, was a fun though. About three days later though, my wife comes home and says that she worked out the details....and I was like holy s*$t...can I do this?
I told my wife no (secretly screaming yes!) and then she pulled the gal up on Facebook...umm, she's 19 and super hot. Quickly my no went to a "probably not," but this girl was all I could think about for days (if you're a guy....you know where I'm coming from....don't pretend that you don't). Finally, after a long discussion my wife and I decided to go to dinner with her one night...why, I don't f%@kin know...it's not like getting to know her would change anything...she was hot! I was saying no for moral reasons...it had nothing to do with attraction.
So anyway, at dinner (which was about a week ago) we were basically silent most of the night...it was just wierd. My wife goes to the bathroom and it was even more ackward, so I asked the gal if she was in a relationship. She said the last GUY she dated was almost two years ago and HE was a total ***, so she didn't want anything serious.
This threw me for a loop, so she told me that I was good looking and she didn't see how my wife could do this to me. She made up the whole lesbian thing to trick my wife into agreeing to this, and she also told me that she can't have kids anyway so it's basically just casual sex. Meanwhile, my wife comes back, we leave the restaurant, and in the car ride home when I say it's not a good idea...she calls me selfish of all things...saying that I should help her friend/co-worker.
If I tell my wife now she'll fire the girl, but at the same time she's very important to the job and my wife may get in trouble as well (she will definitely cause a scene). If I go through with it I'm a piece of s&@t...but what a great piece of s^#t that would be. I 100% want to do this but I 1000% know I shouldn't...which is why I posted here anonymously.
I'm looking for advice, and even though I know it's not a smart move you guys know what I'm talking about. This is a dream-like fantasy almost anyone would jump on (quite literally), so tell me why I should or shouldn't do this.
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All you can do is be truthful.
Tell your wife the truth about the girl. Tell her the truth about wanting to be able to have sex.
People always screw up when they try to control other people's actions, because they always use some kind of deceit.
Be honest and let the chips fall where they may. -
*cracks knuckles*
Ok. It's pretty obvious your wife wants you to be happy. I think she threw you a bone here. Sounds like an awesome ****ing wife if you ask me.
My suggestion would be to ask the wife if this would be the only way she'd let you have sex with another woman. When she asks why, explain the situation. Tell her you don't want to accept such a gift under false pretenses, and that the guilt from lying would completely ruin the sex for you anyhow.
See how that goes. Get back to me.Boik14, gunn34, King Felix and 9 others like this. -
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Hit it and then split. Bada bing bada boom
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You're being way too vague there bro. That answer can apply to almost any question.SICK likes this.
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1. how many chances will you get to bang a hot 19 year old?
2. your wife wants you to do this (if its not a trap)
i say go for it either way. if you find out its a trap leave her or just start cheating. i wouldnt put up with a tease like that after abstaining to apease one woman for 7 years. especially when you claim she cant do anything at all for you. shes got 3 holes and 2 hands. i cant imagine any reason she cant use atleast one of those tools on her husband to keep him satisfied and prevent him from looking elsewhere.
i can understand her not having any sexual desire anymore, but apparently she used to. or just wanted children and knew how to make them. she knows that you want something and that its been along time. i think its selfish for you to be completely cut off for so long then have something like that dangeled in front of your face. if i was in your case i would have tried to make it happen already.
if your really lucky, she really cant get pregnant and you can keep trying and trying. everybody can win multiple times. -
I need pics to properly ascertain just what it is you should do........................ not that I'm shallow or anything.
eric likes this. -
19? you sure?
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Sounds like trouble. Just what if the wife knows what's going on and shes in on this sub-story line with the hot girl just seeing if you'll take the bait knowing the truth.
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I think it's hilarious to read this thread and see the differences in the responses from married dudes and single dudes.
The exception of course is Sick, who's wife has won Wife of the Year every year since they've been married.MikeHoncho and Big E like this. -
That'd be a pretty stupid thing for a wife to do. I mean they went out to dinner and everything with the chick. I don't think she thought that well ahead and hatched an elaborate scheme to see if he'd cheat on her.
Or maybe she did. -
Yeah, this seems pretty dangerous. But it's your life and your decision. If you want to test the waters again....
Tell your wife that, after seven years of abstinence, you're afraid of what might happen when you start having sex with a hot 19-yr old chick. You're a man, after all. Your wife sought out a hot girl for this, so it's not a secret she's your type. And what if she doesn't get pregnant right away? How long does she expect you guys to 'try' and it be ok?
Basically cover all the bases.
If she's cool with all this, then she's cool with it. But if you really want to explore this, you need to make it clear she's opening a door that you might not be able to close.
Oh, and if things ever go south between your wife and this girl, expect her to spill the beans on your little secret.Boik14, eric, MikeHoncho and 1 other person like this. -
the answer to this is hookers bro.
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sounds like a pile of hot, steamy trouble.
assuming you get past to the point of actually doing this, you are going to have a 19 year old girl choosing to become a single mother? does this fit the profile of someone you want to be tied in any way to?
what happens when she realizes she cant afford to take care of this kid?dolfan32323 likes this. -
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She said that she can't get pregnant, but of course I didn't really push the topic....I was too darn surprised when she said that she was into guys and not other girls.
I talked to my wife tonight and told her I thought the chick was a psychopath or something....the 19 year old has only worked with my wife for about six months so she really does not know her. Her reply was, "Whatever...don't do it...I never should have offered something like that anyway." So I think I blew the chance....to do it with permission anyways. I think she regretted offering the whole thing to begin with, but afterwards she prolly thought about it and realized it's a crazy situation. That's alcohol for ya though.
I really don't want to go into details for obvious reasons, but to give a little clarity my wife works at a college (not as a teacher....this isn't a student/teacher thing!) and this chick is a student worker who's related to the big boss over the college. She came from the other end of the US to allegedly "start over" because there were family problems, but that's all my wife really knows. The gal lives on campus and basically just works and goes to class, so she really doesn't know anyone here.
There were also a few questions about my wife, and I definitely can't go into that either except to say she developed a medical condition that makes sex dangerous for her. It's a physical thing..not a disease or anything..and it will always be there. I think her girlfriends make lil comments so she feels selfish, but it's such a screwed up situation that I don't think she's trying to trap me in anything. I guess it's just kind of one of those situations that you'd have to live to understand....it was a rough couple of years and still hasn't fully ended.
I also talked to my wife's cousin about it today and she said I was an idiot if I didn't do it with "this chick or someone else." To me, it kind of sounded like an invitation...but she's married herself so I'm definitely not going there.RickyBobby and Big E like this. -
"And she's always a woman to meeeeeeeee"
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If the girls at UCF, have her look me up.
Really though. I do admire you sticking with your wife through this medical thing. Good on you. Like another poster said. There are other ways you and your wife can have sex. If her medical condition is something that is keeping her from using her hot box, she does have other options to please you and keep sex just between the two of you. -
worst comes to worst, you can always get one of those fake vaginas, have your wife hold it between her legs and then go nuts on it while she watches tv or something.
RickyBobby likes this. -
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Hookers are never a trap! :tongue2:
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Don't you ever watch romantic comedies?
:shifty:
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I still think you should talk to her about it and tell her why you didn't want to do it with this particular broad.
Tell her you didn't feel right about it. Basically tell her everything you told us. Tell her you'd like to take her up on an offer, but not this one due to the circumstances.
Also, DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT IT BEING A POSSIBLE TRAP!
I shouldn't have to mention that, but just in case.Fin D likes this. -
I swear you are the guy that wrote those books about arseholes finishing first sometimes....HardKoreXXX likes this.
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I've said this a thousand times, but I could write a book that would make Tucker Max look like 'Dan in Real Life'.Big E likes this.
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Did you write the book about finishing without a condom on? I mean you have 15 kids with 15 different women. You're like the Cromartie of this board.HardKoreXXX likes this.
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I'd rather be referred to as the Sean Kemp of the board thank you.
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