Tips on how not to cry when it's important

Sorry to hear of your loss.

I've always been told that I'm like a rock during times like that. Sometimes it's just who we are and we can't change that. Some of us are hard-wired to be very outwardly emotional. But when it gets tough even for me to hold it all back, I just take a deep breath or two, a moment to pause, and center myself mentally. I don't know if that helps but it helps me sometimes. And even if it doesn't work, there's still nothing bad about crying.

First of all, very sorry to hear about your loss.

But there is nothing wrong with crying, it's an expression of your sorrow for losing someone that you love. I know when my mother passed away earlier this year I wept like a baby and it was healing in a way. Don't try to hold your emotions in, sooner or later you will have to deal with them and the sooner the better. If you find yourself choking up during your remembrance, just take a step back and gather yourself before you continue. Everyone there will understand, they'll be crying too. :wink2:

sorry to hear about your cousin.

crying at a funeral is necessary IMO. Even (especially?) if you're the one giving the speech. Not to make it seem valid but to let those things go.

I don't have any advice to give you because I wouldn't be able to keep myself from crying if I had to nor would I try.

well I agree with everyone here. I would assume the message is you love your cousin, she couldn't kick the habit, sorry assuming its a habit, sorry if I'm wrong, but that she was still a great person. I don't see how tears, your tears, would show anything other then your love for your cousin and project that message even clearer.

I'm sorry for your loss, and there's nothing wrong with crying at a funeral, it just means you're human and that you cared about her.

"Seeking Answers wrote:

So i have to well i want to speak at my cousin's funeral...i had to personally witness her selfdestuction for years, but i still love her and want to pay proper tribute. I made note cards, but i'm afraid i will cry or choke up and blow the whole message. Does anyone have an answer as to how to brave it all, because it's about her not me, and that is what i want to convey.

Cry if you need to. Everyone would totally understand.
Emotions, at a time like this, are important to let out.
You'll miss her presence here, just don't worry and let your feelings go.
Prayers to you and your family.
God Bless all of you.

The tears are going to come Brother..but you have to tell yourself while your reading that its the most important thing you can do right now...pause and take some deep breaths if you need to and ignore the tears just try to not get choked up...but dont expect to not have tears flowing that is going to happen regardless but you should still be able to say your message.

realistically, the only thing i think that can help you, is to go over what you are going to say over and over. and visualize yourself in that moment, saying what you will say, over and over and over. time is the only thing that helps heal these feelings of sorrow, and by doing this, in a weird way, you will be hurrying that process, and desensitizing yourself to this emotional moment.

im sorry for your loss.

Botox? I hear that stops people from crying.

Might sound a little strange, but if you feel yourself getting sad and wanting to cry, think about how pissed off you are about the situation and allow yourself to get mad. I'm not saying go out there and yell or show that you're mad, but if you feel like that inside, you're less likely to want to cry IMO.

First off, I am very sorry about your loss.

My recommendation would be to try and pretend, if only for those few moments, that its for someone else entirely. (not that it still wouldnt be a bad thing)

But put yourself in the role of a soldier.

Distance yourself from the situation at hand that way and try and shape it in your mind as more of a 'mission'.

It's your mission and you must accomplish it at all costs. I am going to go up there and say these lines/words. Thats my mission.

Like Seth said, study your lines and then deliver.

"Seeking Answers wrote:

I thank all for the replys. Unlukyluciano, i am not going to say something stupid.

Wasn't trying to imply you would say something stupid............... sorry if it read that way.

"Seeking Answers wrote:

I pulled it off, and my speech went well and was much appreciated by the family. Thanks again to all who responded.

Glad to hear it :hi5:

didnt see this till now. glad it turned out well, and sorry for your loss. losing a loved one is very tough. its too easy to get caught up in the way the person died. it is important that the family is reminded of the good. i commend you for caring so much about the story she leaves behind.

a song comes to mind that captures this situation pretty well, IMO.

YouTube - Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest