Yes. We should beat our kids. In fact, I believe we should be allowed to beat the hell out of anyone who does anything we disagree with. If the barista screws up my coffee order, I should be legally entitled to jump over the counter and beat him to within an inch of his life; to teach him a valuable life lesson. Isn't that the point?

Guys? Guys? Where'd everybody go?

 

You could have saved time and just told us to get off your lawn.

 

It's called evolving as a society, plain and simple. If a parent actually puts the energy into being a good, dedicated parent, then you'll never have to spank the hell out of your kid. People who feel like they have to smack their kid around are typically crappy parents that are overcompensating for being a bad parent. Having said that, there are attention getters, smack in the butt, that can be effective.

 

Yep. I don't believe an adult cannot come up with a nonviolent punishment worse than spanking. Teaching that hitting is appropriate for anything but defense, or mutually agreed upon play, doesn't seem like a good idea. Particularly with young children.

How wierd is it that we beat our kids, but cannot beat murders and rapists. When we put someone to death, legally it has to be as painless as possible. We cannot spank a serial killer as punishment.

Full disclosure: I am not a parent, will not become a parent, do not want to be a parent.


Also, I wonder if similar conversations happened when things like "the rule of thumb" still applied regarding wives.

 

Even if the parent is a good dedicated parent theres going to be times the child disobeys. Thats just how it is. My parents were amazing. There were definitely times I didnt listen to what they said or asked. They didnt abuse me. They gave me a smack on the behind told me to put down the video game controller and to go do my damn homework. And guess what? I did. I did it because I didnt like the way that chain of events happened.

I wouldnt support physical violence but to me a smack on the behind when raising a child is a form of discipline. A smack in the head is a form of violence. Theres a big difference. There definitely some that take it too far and some that dont take it far enough in disciplining their kids. Those are mostly the same people who probably shouldnt have kids.

 

Put me in charge. Ill flip the script on that one in a second. Violence towards people who commit violence should be allowed.

I mean picture a conversation like this:

Me: "Hey Two Tacos, whats goin on man?
You: "Boik, I had a crap day at work bro. My boss had a bug up his behind all day and took it out on me. Wanna grab a beer?"
Me: "We'll grab a beer but first I think I know what will help. Why dont we stop by the prison first where Ill buy you 5 minutes alone with an inmate who murdered a family. Go punch him in the face a few times"
*A few minutes later*
You: "Thanks Boik, you were right. I just pictured my boss's face on that douche. I think I broke his nose. Now I feel better. How about that beer?"

 

Not according to any credible psychologist or scientist. The psychological and physical developmental mechanisms affected are the same, regardless of the parents intent. The degree of damage done will likely be different (abuse vs. spanking), but the outcome will always result in a negative.

 

If you hit your kid to take out your anger after verbal admonishments and reason have been ineffective, you've already failed. Corporal punishment should be administered very rarely, to inflict momentary pain but never to injure, and always in cold blood and logically, accompanied by an explanation of the reason for the punishment and the behavior expected. Its purpose is to educate regarding the adverse consequences of inappropriate behavior. I would defend it in any court in the land.

 

Well, that got dark in a hurry

 

I get the spirit of your reply, but honestly, I hope I'm never someone who would get any sort of catharsis from beating another human. Excepting sparring, rolling, etc...

 

Complex, context-based question based on many layers reduced to simple Yes-No.

If I am forced to evaluate this as a total generalization that will be applied to ALL situations I HAVE to say NO it's not okay, because of the evils that will occur under it's umbrella.

If we can go case-by-case and really examine the definitions of 'beat' and 'deserve' to get clarity, then maybe we can have a deeper discussion.

For now, just spank your girlfriend when she doesn't bring you your Busch-Lite in the camo-can after a hard day of watching Funny Car Racing.

 

How can you definitively say yes, spanking should be allowed, when in the very next sentence you question the effectiveness and morality of spanking?

It isn't a complex question. Physical force against a child has long term negative consequences in regards to their development. There's no credible research in the world that would suggest otherwise. Hitting kids is bad for them, regardless of whether the intention was designed to teach.

 

Different strokes for different folks. I dont get any kicks out of it but some people do need a good asskicking. May as well take a negative and make it in to something positive.

Youre talking about violence against children. Spanking a child as a form of discipline is not a violent reaction in my opinion. It tells a child that what they did is not ok in that particular circumstance. It shouldnt be used every time. It should be used when a child has been told numerous times to stop doing or saying a particular thing and after all other options have been exhausted. It should not be done in anger or as a threat, but in my opinion it should be done to elicit a certain response or emotion from the child. You want the child to be sorry about whatever they did or said and you want to stop the reaction. Of course the reaction will be negative...you just disciplined a child to stop doing something they thought was funny or cool.

 

Spanking or hitting children is the easy solution. Anytime its taken, it is based on either frustration or lack of knowing what else to do or lack of will power to try anything else.

Hitting someone you love makes no sense and ultimately, is for the benefit of the punisher not the punishee.

i also don't wanna hear from anyone how its hard for them to do it, if they are defending its practice. If it was hard to do and physically hurt your child, then you'd find another solution. I firmly believe, anyone who spanks their child, enjoys it on some level or another.

 

Will it affect your decision to date her?

I suspect it will not.

 

He needs you.

[I edited this like ten times. It's hard to find a way to joke about CiF having an African American son and still obey TOS]

 

NO.

P-l-a-y-A-H

 

That's the scary thing, child abuse and spanking cause the some developmental problems. Reduced grey matter in the brain, anxiety, depression, aggression, inability to focus, lowered IQ, etc... Obviously to varying degrees, as a child who is chronically abused is likely to experience far more problems to worse degrees.

The disconnect here is intent. Parents who spank their children may believe it's for the greater good. A teaching moment. But the reality is, striking a child for any reason has long term negative consequences. Whether or not a parent means well is irrelevant, they're causing harm. I think this is a good analogy... I'll let you guys be the judge.

6 hours of sleep per night vs. 8/9 hours of sleep per night.

You can function with 6 hours of sleep. You can do all the same activities with 6 hours hours sleep as you could with 8. Yet, with 8 hours of sleep, you can do everything better. Activities of any kind that you never notice or pay attention to, are easier, quicker, better. You're your superior self with 8/9 hours of sleep.

Children who experience corporal punishment become the limited version of themselves rather than the superior version. There's 25+ years of scientific research on the subject and there's no evidence of any kind that would even suggest that spanking is in any way, shape, or form, helpful to the developmental process of a child. It's always negative.

 

For the record, I don't have children (yet). When I do eventually, I won't hit/spank them because it does nothing but **** them up. It's counter productive.

I think Fin D's post is pretty much perfect. I don't have anything to add to it, so it can speak for itself. I would point out, I think you're suggesting, based on the bet you're willing to make, that those without kids don't understand the frustration of them misbehaving, for which Fin D brought up a basic truth of spanking, as I see it.

 

I was taught in the mid-Sixties by Irish Christian Brothers at a Catholic high school in the Northeast. The brothers believed in public corporal punishment as one of the tools of education. Hold out your palm, get a sharp smack with a rubber strap per wrong answer on an easy ten-question Latin quiz. It stung, but there was no injury. It only hurt for a minute or so, and it was deemed far better than two hours of detention, standing in line in silence.
We learned to take care to study in order to avoid the fleeting pain and, more importantly, the public humiliation. If anyone was traumatized, he hid it well. It was something we all had in common as a class. No one wanted Brother Nick to stop at one's desk when he strolled down the aisles wielding Bawana (yes, he named the strap). I doubt that it made me any better of a person, but it certainly taught me about consequences.
Things are different in school today, I imagine; and maybe it's because I'm old and times have changed, but it seems to me that the product of education today is, on the average (I'm not talking about the top students) far inferior than it was fifty or so years ago. You have to wonder how much discipline has to do with that, which is what makes corporal punishment a debatable point to me.

 

that's a weak statement. I can tell you that my mother used to beat the crap out of me when she spanked my brother and I (he got the worst of it). It effects our relatiionship with our wives (girlfriends) on a daily basis. I go out of my way to raise my child differently. I've never hit either child beyond the moderate smack on the butt (which I haven't done in years). My oldest is arguably the best behaved kid in the school - BECAUSE I speak to her almost every day on the right way to behave and interact with others.

The difference between a good parent and a mediocre parent? The difference is between being proactive and reactionary. The former being the obvious better parent.

 

I did an intense 21 year study.
Spanking is okay.
I raised two sons.
They turned out great.